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Intervention Summary: 2 – 6 years old – GOAL; go to kindergarten with no support
see recovery section below
Year 1:(Looking for a program, 2 years old) 45 minutes/wk sp. Ed. Tutor, 45 minutes/wk SLP, 6 hours/wk of typical daycare with
age appropriate peers, kiddie gym class. Formal table sessions with parent 2 hours a day. 24/7 redirection, modeling, and
prompting, copying what the therapists did. Target skills: Self-help, motor imitation, receptive and expressive object and action
labeling, simple requests, and basic toy manipulation. Bio intervention: DAN! Protocol, GFCF, organic whole foods,supplements,
no vaccines/antibiotics) Regrets: No ABA program - ideally we would've started right off with at least 25 hours.
Year 2: (Prek - 1st year, 3 years old) Typical preschool 2 mornings, daycare 2 afternoons, SLP 1 hr grp, Gymboree, 2 typical
playdates per week. Formal table sessions with parent 2 hours a day. Approx. 16 hours/wk with typical peers is 16. Zero hours in
Special Ed environment. All services take place at home elementary school. Target skills: Complex skills including imaginary play,
describing and complex language, emotion recognition, and basic cause and effect, with an emphasis on generalization. Bio
intervention: DAN! Protocol, GFCF, organic whole foods,supplements, no vaccines/antibiotics) Regrets: No ABA program,
especially the part where he had no shadow. All those opportunities lost.
Year 3: (Prek - 2nd year, 4 years old) Typical preschool 3 mornings, daycare 2 afternoons, SLP 3 hours one-to-one, 3 hrs ABA
one-to-one, 11 hrs ABA shadow at typical prek/daycare, 0T 1 hr, PT ½ hr, totaling 14 hours of typical peer time, 7 hours of one-to
one therapy. Formal table sessions with parent 2 hours a day. Zero hours in Special Ed environment. Target skills: Abstract skills
such as abstract reasoning, senses, observational learning, and social skills are targeted Bio intervention: DAN! Protocol such as
The Diet, Chelation, organic whole foods,supplements, no vaccines/antibiotics) Regrets: Not enough ABA hours - not for lack of
trying
Year 4: (Prek- 3rd year, 5 years old) Not even a question, we held our fall birthday boy. He needed that extra year to continue
therapy in an environment he blossomed in. Typical preschool 5 afternoons, daycare 5 mornings, SLP 2 hours one-to-one, 3 hrs
ABA one-to-one, 27 hrs ABA shadow, OT 1 hr, PT ½ hr, totaling 33 hours of typical peer time, 7 hours of one-to one therapy. Target
skills: Theory of mind and executive functioning skills, understanding cause and effect, relationships, predictions, inferences, and
comprehending social cues. Bio intervention: DAN! Protocol (diet, chelation, enzymes), organic whole foods, supplements, no
vaccines.
Recovery Year 1:( Kindergarten, 6 years old) Leo began his first year at a typical elementary school with no support. He no
longer requires an aide or any therapy such as ABA, SLP, OT, and PT. Leo's teacher does not know about his former diagnosis or
that he had services of any kind. Leo's friends and their parents do not know about his former life either. He rides the bus to and
from school, and is a regular student in his class. He enjoys recess, music, art, gym, and library time. He maintains lots of friends
and is very social. Bio intervention: Still continue GFCF diet, even at school. Still maintains organic whole foods lifestyle including
supplements and mild occasional detoxing to minimize toxic load.
Recovery Year 2 (1st grade, 7 years old)
Leo continues to enjoy his new life. His first grade teacher doesn't know about his past. He is flourishing academically and socially.
He loves school, and is a happy guy. He maintains his old friends while making new ones. Minor executive functioning issue (calling
out, talking out of turn). Marked improvement from beginning to end of year. Doesn't stand out - 3 other classmates that do this lack
impulse control across other situations as well. That's kids, but I know the reason behind Leo's weakness. 45 out of 50 highest
academic marks, the rest satisfactory. Incredible story telling ability, amazing math understanding. Handwriting perfect for a 1st
grader. Bio intervention same as Recovery Year 1.
Recovery Year 3 (2nd grade, 8 years old) Business as usual. Teacher is mediocre but Leo is growing and learning per usual.
Minor executive functioning issue remains (talking out of turn when excited about a topic). Showed improvement over the year. Hi
marks continues. Excels in all categories - math, reading, and personal development. Handwriting perfect. Bio intervention same as
Recovery Year 1. Year ended quietly, a success.
Recovery Year 4 (3rd grade, 9 yrs old) Excellent teacher this year. Anonymity intact. A typical 3rd grader. He enjoys baseball
and carpooling with his close friends. As a solid B student, his marks are improving all around. Holds his own even in challenging
areas like organization, strength for Gym, creativity for Art. He has demonstrated a gift for Music, plays the piano at home, and at
school the Recorder. Bio intervention similar as Recovery Years 1 and 2. Utilizing more homeopathic/herbal supplements for
annual detoxing and health maintenance. Blood sugar sensitivity almost non-existent. We are no longer limited by a food schedule
because of it. Reduced dependency on Soy, so have added a little Dairy into his diet (with enzymes) on occasion. Our annual goal
is to reduce intake of products that contain GMO's and endocrine disruptors/estrogen mimicers (like Soy, hidden MSG). We are
trying to be more "green" at home, and reduce our reliance on plastic products.
see recovery section below
Year 1:(Looking for a program, 2 years old) 45 minutes/wk sp. Ed. Tutor, 45 minutes/wk SLP, 6 hours/wk of typical daycare with
age appropriate peers, kiddie gym class. Formal table sessions with parent 2 hours a day. 24/7 redirection, modeling, and
prompting, copying what the therapists did. Target skills: Self-help, motor imitation, receptive and expressive object and action
labeling, simple requests, and basic toy manipulation. Bio intervention: DAN! Protocol, GFCF, organic whole foods,supplements,
no vaccines/antibiotics) Regrets: No ABA program - ideally we would've started right off with at least 25 hours.
Year 2: (Prek - 1st year, 3 years old) Typical preschool 2 mornings, daycare 2 afternoons, SLP 1 hr grp, Gymboree, 2 typical
playdates per week. Formal table sessions with parent 2 hours a day. Approx. 16 hours/wk with typical peers is 16. Zero hours in
Special Ed environment. All services take place at home elementary school. Target skills: Complex skills including imaginary play,
describing and complex language, emotion recognition, and basic cause and effect, with an emphasis on generalization. Bio
intervention: DAN! Protocol, GFCF, organic whole foods,supplements, no vaccines/antibiotics) Regrets: No ABA program,
especially the part where he had no shadow. All those opportunities lost.
Year 3: (Prek - 2nd year, 4 years old) Typical preschool 3 mornings, daycare 2 afternoons, SLP 3 hours one-to-one, 3 hrs ABA
one-to-one, 11 hrs ABA shadow at typical prek/daycare, 0T 1 hr, PT ½ hr, totaling 14 hours of typical peer time, 7 hours of one-to
one therapy. Formal table sessions with parent 2 hours a day. Zero hours in Special Ed environment. Target skills: Abstract skills
such as abstract reasoning, senses, observational learning, and social skills are targeted Bio intervention: DAN! Protocol such as
The Diet, Chelation, organic whole foods,supplements, no vaccines/antibiotics) Regrets: Not enough ABA hours - not for lack of
trying
Year 4: (Prek- 3rd year, 5 years old) Not even a question, we held our fall birthday boy. He needed that extra year to continue
therapy in an environment he blossomed in. Typical preschool 5 afternoons, daycare 5 mornings, SLP 2 hours one-to-one, 3 hrs
ABA one-to-one, 27 hrs ABA shadow, OT 1 hr, PT ½ hr, totaling 33 hours of typical peer time, 7 hours of one-to one therapy. Target
skills: Theory of mind and executive functioning skills, understanding cause and effect, relationships, predictions, inferences, and
comprehending social cues. Bio intervention: DAN! Protocol (diet, chelation, enzymes), organic whole foods, supplements, no
vaccines.
Recovery Year 1:( Kindergarten, 6 years old) Leo began his first year at a typical elementary school with no support. He no
longer requires an aide or any therapy such as ABA, SLP, OT, and PT. Leo's teacher does not know about his former diagnosis or
that he had services of any kind. Leo's friends and their parents do not know about his former life either. He rides the bus to and
from school, and is a regular student in his class. He enjoys recess, music, art, gym, and library time. He maintains lots of friends
and is very social. Bio intervention: Still continue GFCF diet, even at school. Still maintains organic whole foods lifestyle including
supplements and mild occasional detoxing to minimize toxic load.
Recovery Year 2 (1st grade, 7 years old)
Leo continues to enjoy his new life. His first grade teacher doesn't know about his past. He is flourishing academically and socially.
He loves school, and is a happy guy. He maintains his old friends while making new ones. Minor executive functioning issue (calling
out, talking out of turn). Marked improvement from beginning to end of year. Doesn't stand out - 3 other classmates that do this lack
impulse control across other situations as well. That's kids, but I know the reason behind Leo's weakness. 45 out of 50 highest
academic marks, the rest satisfactory. Incredible story telling ability, amazing math understanding. Handwriting perfect for a 1st
grader. Bio intervention same as Recovery Year 1.
Recovery Year 3 (2nd grade, 8 years old) Business as usual. Teacher is mediocre but Leo is growing and learning per usual.
Minor executive functioning issue remains (talking out of turn when excited about a topic). Showed improvement over the year. Hi
marks continues. Excels in all categories - math, reading, and personal development. Handwriting perfect. Bio intervention same as
Recovery Year 1. Year ended quietly, a success.
Recovery Year 4 (3rd grade, 9 yrs old) Excellent teacher this year. Anonymity intact. A typical 3rd grader. He enjoys baseball
and carpooling with his close friends. As a solid B student, his marks are improving all around. Holds his own even in challenging
areas like organization, strength for Gym, creativity for Art. He has demonstrated a gift for Music, plays the piano at home, and at
school the Recorder. Bio intervention similar as Recovery Years 1 and 2. Utilizing more homeopathic/herbal supplements for
annual detoxing and health maintenance. Blood sugar sensitivity almost non-existent. We are no longer limited by a food schedule
because of it. Reduced dependency on Soy, so have added a little Dairy into his diet (with enzymes) on occasion. Our annual goal
is to reduce intake of products that contain GMO's and endocrine disruptors/estrogen mimicers (like Soy, hidden MSG). We are
trying to be more "green" at home, and reduce our reliance on plastic products.
SUMMARY DETAIL AND TIMELINE
10/98-10/99 – Leo’s First Year (d.o.b. 10/15/98)
At 4 months Leo started having severe separation anxiety. He always felt uncomfortable without one of his parents. He practically
lived in the Bjorn. We couldn’t go to the bathroom without tears. Regular development except vocalizations. However, when we look
back on videos, we can see poor eye contact, gazing, and lack of cause & effect. We followed his lead and honored his
extraordinary needs for us to hold him and be in his presence. Mother at home fulltime although she had planned on returning to
work. At the end of his year he fell in love with his first truck (spinning wheels). For more details, see article published this month in
Autism/Asperger's Digest (Jan/Feb'08).
Schedule: Weekly Mommy and Me group, Gymboree, regular outings to museum (we lived in NYC) and play dates, usually having
some social activity each day.
At 4 months Leo started having severe separation anxiety. He always felt uncomfortable without one of his parents. He practically
lived in the Bjorn. We couldn’t go to the bathroom without tears. Regular development except vocalizations. However, when we look
back on videos, we can see poor eye contact, gazing, and lack of cause & effect. We followed his lead and honored his
extraordinary needs for us to hold him and be in his presence. Mother at home fulltime although she had planned on returning to
work. At the end of his year he fell in love with his first truck (spinning wheels). For more details, see article published this month in
Autism/Asperger's Digest (Jan/Feb'08).
Schedule: Weekly Mommy and Me group, Gymboree, regular outings to museum (we lived in NYC) and play dates, usually having
some social activity each day.
January – April 2000 (15-18 mos)
Stopped progressing, began stimming on vehicles. Within a month he was spinning wheels 98% of his day. Very little
vocalizing, no progression with speech. He was so frustrated and whiny, acting so ‘helpless’ and ‘clueless’ most of the
time. Severe sep. anxiety continued, even crying for hours with his babysitter he’d known for one year. Mother
became concerned with his obsessions and lack of interest in other children.
Out of desperation, Mother put Leo in daycare 2hrs/3X week (6 hrs). Painful transition, nonstop crying or anxiety for 4
months, breaking the daycare’s record for a child transition. Instincts told Mother this was what Leo needed, to learn
how to cope without Mom and even more exposure to peers. He went each time clinging to a truck, usually sitting on a
willing caregiver’s lap. Always anxious. He’d mostly sit alone, stimming on the wheels.
Sample Day: Spend every waking moment spinning wheels of cars, rolling them aimlessly back and forth, all day, all
night. He’d lie on the ground next to a car and stare rolling it back and forth. Also he’d roll it on himself. I’d cry
looking at him through the daycare cameras. Sitting alone, across the room away from the other kids. I had to be
happy he wasn’t crying, and that he wasn’t on someone’s lap.
Leo’s development reached a plateau across all areas, as his time was spent with stimming. Leo’s stimming became
more sophisticated, language continued to stagnate, and separation continued at the same intensity. Daycare,
Gymboree, and play dates continued, keeping Leo busy each day with something social. Socially, Leo started to really
stand out. Always content on my lap at play dates, he’d focus on a playmate’s truck or other spinning toy rather than
the other child. I felt I had no choice but to give up play dates and Gymboree, as both Leo and I were constantly
miserable. Passed an ENT/audiologist eval. For more details, see new article in Autism/Asperger's Digest.
Beginning of services (16 months old)
We finally got him evaluated by 0-3. He qualified for speech, and started services with a Sp. Ed. Teacher 1X per
week. Leo tested one year behind his age. Pointing, grunting, and whining was how he communicated. This caused
an enormous amount of frustration for all of us. He had low self-esteem and was constantly frustrated. We were
surprised to learn that Leo’s narrow interest in just trucks, books, and balls were a concern, and that this obsession
kept him from learning other skills. We were clueless that there was anything wrong with Leo. We thought that speech
was an issue, and maybe that the stimming was just a ‘phase’. That Leo was being a boy.
We were quite shocked to learn that we needed to drastically revamp how we parented Leo. It absolutely made no
sense to us, to infringe upon Leo’s interests and freedom. We coined 0-3’s recommendations “Counter-Intuitive
Parenting”. This philosophy went against all our natural instincts of letting Leo ‘be’ in a safe nurturing environment,
giving him the lead to explore his world. Letting Leo spin balls and wheels, and throw balls wasn’t working. Instead of
Leo taking the lead in his day, we had to. We had to be pushy, and structure Leo’s every waking moment.
0-3 taught us how to expose him to novel toys. They guided us to remove the desired stimming toys (vehicles and
balls). We cleaned up the entire house, removing all clutter, and streamlined the toy selection to approx. one of each
kind of toy. Since Leo was so object focused, he obsessed over toys, and we indulged him by giving him too many.
We learned that Leo needed to start using his eyes and ears, not ours. We had to carefully plan frustration and
monitor that level delicately, always pushing one step beyond. For example, if he began to lose concentration while
doing a puzzle, we’d keep encouraging him, cheerleading him through it. When we thought he’d had enough, we’d ask
him to do one more piece, that one step beyond. We utilized every waking moment in his life – home, daycare, social
outings, play dates, parties, to redirect him, teach him something, drawing him out of his world.
We set up stations in the family room, strategically placing a couple toys on the coffee table, a few spaced out. To our
utter amazement, we saw within 2 days Leo walk up to his blocks and examine them for the first time without prompting
from an adult. We were shocked to see he was fine without a room full of vehicles. Within a week, Leo looked more
refreshed and not as zoned out. He became more interested in other types of toys. He became more and more
tolerant of attending to task, and eventually sitting at a table.
He started saying words at daycare before at home. We learned how to play dumb, always creating a situation to get
Leo to use words.
Ex: I’d fill his milk bottle up part way so he’d have to ask for more. To promote any utterances, we “rewarded” him if
Leo said at least the first letter of a word. He caught on to this, and now will say the first letter and not attempt the
entire word. He does the very least to get want he wants. We attempt to play dumb, and pick our battles and not give
in, no actual words yet.
EX: Knows alphabet and becomes a stim.
EX: We discovered if we break down words Leo will often imitate that portion of a word. Perhaps it’s less intimidating
for him. For example, for the word “open” we’ll slowly sound out, almost sing “ope”. We will often get an imitation of
that portion of the word instead of nothing. He seems more bold in trying out words with less coaxing.
EX: Leo immediately rejects new books. He shows no interest and reaches for a familiar book. We have to “force” it
on him, show him the pages, and eventually we can incorporate the new book into the rotation of books.
EX: Most kids his age seem to have gone on to the next stage of play patterns, such as playing with little people,
playing with them in imaginary scenarios such as cooking, eating, driving, etc. He is fascinated if an adult does this,
but will not play on his own like this. He will bring me toys to play with. When I tell him it’s HIS turn, he walks away, or
asks me to play again. The only thing he seems to do in this area is push his trains around the track. The last couple
weeks, he’s been imitating me calling the dog, and imitating what my husband does (hand movements, stance, etc.).
He is however, extremely affectionate with his stuffed animals.
EX: Other stims: Leo has always liked things that are blue & white, such as the questions on Jeopardy. He also likes
things that are yellow. I think it’s because he is so fixated on school buses. He loves things that flicker. Likes
patterns, such as crosswalks, tile, brick. At first I thought he was concentrating on walking. He’s been walking for over
a year now, and still often looks at the ground. Likes signs, large solid shapes, clean lines. Loves music, his dog,
going outside –the woods. Likes to play hide &seek, trains, cars, going on the highway, books, coloring, letters, and
his kiddie classes/daycare. Knows correct color for known objects: for the sun, he’ll select the yellow crayon, for grass,
he’ll pick green. Is beginning to learn how to count, although does not verbalize.
About a month into the services, the therapist identified several ‘red flag’ behaviors, and suggested seeing a
Developmental Pediatrician. What the heck is that?? I began the painful process of educating myself about disorders,
and suspected that Leo was on the Autism Spectrum. I dedicated myself to figuring out what Leo needed.
Stopped progressing, began stimming on vehicles. Within a month he was spinning wheels 98% of his day. Very little
vocalizing, no progression with speech. He was so frustrated and whiny, acting so ‘helpless’ and ‘clueless’ most of the
time. Severe sep. anxiety continued, even crying for hours with his babysitter he’d known for one year. Mother
became concerned with his obsessions and lack of interest in other children.
Out of desperation, Mother put Leo in daycare 2hrs/3X week (6 hrs). Painful transition, nonstop crying or anxiety for 4
months, breaking the daycare’s record for a child transition. Instincts told Mother this was what Leo needed, to learn
how to cope without Mom and even more exposure to peers. He went each time clinging to a truck, usually sitting on a
willing caregiver’s lap. Always anxious. He’d mostly sit alone, stimming on the wheels.
Sample Day: Spend every waking moment spinning wheels of cars, rolling them aimlessly back and forth, all day, all
night. He’d lie on the ground next to a car and stare rolling it back and forth. Also he’d roll it on himself. I’d cry
looking at him through the daycare cameras. Sitting alone, across the room away from the other kids. I had to be
happy he wasn’t crying, and that he wasn’t on someone’s lap.
Leo’s development reached a plateau across all areas, as his time was spent with stimming. Leo’s stimming became
more sophisticated, language continued to stagnate, and separation continued at the same intensity. Daycare,
Gymboree, and play dates continued, keeping Leo busy each day with something social. Socially, Leo started to really
stand out. Always content on my lap at play dates, he’d focus on a playmate’s truck or other spinning toy rather than
the other child. I felt I had no choice but to give up play dates and Gymboree, as both Leo and I were constantly
miserable. Passed an ENT/audiologist eval. For more details, see new article in Autism/Asperger's Digest.
Beginning of services (16 months old)
We finally got him evaluated by 0-3. He qualified for speech, and started services with a Sp. Ed. Teacher 1X per
week. Leo tested one year behind his age. Pointing, grunting, and whining was how he communicated. This caused
an enormous amount of frustration for all of us. He had low self-esteem and was constantly frustrated. We were
surprised to learn that Leo’s narrow interest in just trucks, books, and balls were a concern, and that this obsession
kept him from learning other skills. We were clueless that there was anything wrong with Leo. We thought that speech
was an issue, and maybe that the stimming was just a ‘phase’. That Leo was being a boy.
We were quite shocked to learn that we needed to drastically revamp how we parented Leo. It absolutely made no
sense to us, to infringe upon Leo’s interests and freedom. We coined 0-3’s recommendations “Counter-Intuitive
Parenting”. This philosophy went against all our natural instincts of letting Leo ‘be’ in a safe nurturing environment,
giving him the lead to explore his world. Letting Leo spin balls and wheels, and throw balls wasn’t working. Instead of
Leo taking the lead in his day, we had to. We had to be pushy, and structure Leo’s every waking moment.
0-3 taught us how to expose him to novel toys. They guided us to remove the desired stimming toys (vehicles and
balls). We cleaned up the entire house, removing all clutter, and streamlined the toy selection to approx. one of each
kind of toy. Since Leo was so object focused, he obsessed over toys, and we indulged him by giving him too many.
We learned that Leo needed to start using his eyes and ears, not ours. We had to carefully plan frustration and
monitor that level delicately, always pushing one step beyond. For example, if he began to lose concentration while
doing a puzzle, we’d keep encouraging him, cheerleading him through it. When we thought he’d had enough, we’d ask
him to do one more piece, that one step beyond. We utilized every waking moment in his life – home, daycare, social
outings, play dates, parties, to redirect him, teach him something, drawing him out of his world.
We set up stations in the family room, strategically placing a couple toys on the coffee table, a few spaced out. To our
utter amazement, we saw within 2 days Leo walk up to his blocks and examine them for the first time without prompting
from an adult. We were shocked to see he was fine without a room full of vehicles. Within a week, Leo looked more
refreshed and not as zoned out. He became more interested in other types of toys. He became more and more
tolerant of attending to task, and eventually sitting at a table.
He started saying words at daycare before at home. We learned how to play dumb, always creating a situation to get
Leo to use words.
Ex: I’d fill his milk bottle up part way so he’d have to ask for more. To promote any utterances, we “rewarded” him if
Leo said at least the first letter of a word. He caught on to this, and now will say the first letter and not attempt the
entire word. He does the very least to get want he wants. We attempt to play dumb, and pick our battles and not give
in, no actual words yet.
EX: Knows alphabet and becomes a stim.
EX: We discovered if we break down words Leo will often imitate that portion of a word. Perhaps it’s less intimidating
for him. For example, for the word “open” we’ll slowly sound out, almost sing “ope”. We will often get an imitation of
that portion of the word instead of nothing. He seems more bold in trying out words with less coaxing.
EX: Leo immediately rejects new books. He shows no interest and reaches for a familiar book. We have to “force” it
on him, show him the pages, and eventually we can incorporate the new book into the rotation of books.
EX: Most kids his age seem to have gone on to the next stage of play patterns, such as playing with little people,
playing with them in imaginary scenarios such as cooking, eating, driving, etc. He is fascinated if an adult does this,
but will not play on his own like this. He will bring me toys to play with. When I tell him it’s HIS turn, he walks away, or
asks me to play again. The only thing he seems to do in this area is push his trains around the track. The last couple
weeks, he’s been imitating me calling the dog, and imitating what my husband does (hand movements, stance, etc.).
He is however, extremely affectionate with his stuffed animals.
EX: Other stims: Leo has always liked things that are blue & white, such as the questions on Jeopardy. He also likes
things that are yellow. I think it’s because he is so fixated on school buses. He loves things that flicker. Likes
patterns, such as crosswalks, tile, brick. At first I thought he was concentrating on walking. He’s been walking for over
a year now, and still often looks at the ground. Likes signs, large solid shapes, clean lines. Loves music, his dog,
going outside –the woods. Likes to play hide &seek, trains, cars, going on the highway, books, coloring, letters, and
his kiddie classes/daycare. Knows correct color for known objects: for the sun, he’ll select the yellow crayon, for grass,
he’ll pick green. Is beginning to learn how to count, although does not verbalize.
About a month into the services, the therapist identified several ‘red flag’ behaviors, and suggested seeing a
Developmental Pediatrician. What the heck is that?? I began the painful process of educating myself about disorders,
and suspected that Leo was on the Autism Spectrum. I dedicated myself to figuring out what Leo needed.
Fall 2000: 2yrs old
This was quite a busy, sad, and overwhelming time for all of us. Leo’s 2 year birthday party at our house brought
tears of despair to our eyes. On a beautiful October fall day, about 6 peers played together outside while Leo, not
even looking, was sitting alone on the steps staring at his firetruck. We couldn’t take it away, as he would’ve been
miserable without it. We even got the fire dept to drive over a real firetruck for the kids to see and take a ride.
Overwhelmed by the party, Leo had no interest in the fire truck. His dad made him go on it. Leo sat on his lap and
tolerated it for a few minutes.
Yale evaluated him two weeks after his 2nd birthday. Even though you know what they’ll say, you never forget the
moment they tell you your child has Autism (2 years old). They were so understanding as I shook and cried in their
office. They described in great detail how Leo must be taught what comes naturally to typical children. That he’ll
never learn these concepts and skills on his own.
They gave us proven direction on how to teach him while minimizing his stimming behaviors. They described how we
need to engage and redirect Leo 24/7, every waking moment –until these skills can become his own. We needed to
draw him out every moment possible.
At this time his imagination play time was approximately 2% of his day, prompted. Leo also was in poor physical shape
at that time. He began the DAN! Protocol shortly after his testing.
Schedule: Kiddie classes 3X /wk, play dates at least 1X /wk, daycare 3 afternoons a week (6 hours), and 0-3 therapy 2
to 3X per week (home and daycare), and parent sessions 2X per DAY.
I decided to bite the bullet and force Leo into as many social situations as possible. I went back to having at least one
outside social activity every day with kids his age. I’d insist he participate, or at the very least observe, constantly
pointing at what he should be looking at. Ex: “Look at the teacher’s face. What is she saying to do?” My goal was to
keep him with us, never letting him stim. 0-3 came 2 times per week, training me and Leo. I was so sick of having to
be a two year old model for my son. He hated it, I hated it, but it was great.
I copied the therapists by working with Leo just like they did, 45 Min each morning that they didn’t come at the table. I
also did this at night unless my husband was home early enough to do it. My husband concentrated on gross motor
skills and confidence on the weekends by doing guy stuff, taking him to the playground, etc. He also did swim class
with him, which Leo hated.
He cried through an entire semester of a kiddie class at our Rec Center. Preferring to sit alone, I’d carry Leo around
with kids holding hands and dancing at Music Class. At a pre-nursery school class where parents came too, he’d try to
isolate himself, making a beeline right for the trucks as we entered the room. I asked the staff to hide the trucks during
our session, and I kept him engaged, constantly directing him to appropriate play, or telling him what to say to another
child. We started Gymboree again, and this time I made him do everything the other kids did. I’m sure the other
parents thought I was a hovering crazy woman, or that I was really competitive, but I didn’t care. Needless to say I didn’
t make any friends that season.
I gave each caregiver at daycare a ‘one sheet’ on how to engage Leo, and to keep him with the other kids as much as
possible. I explained to them that his disorder is no excuse to not participate or do tasks. He was expected to do what
all the other kids do. I worked with them each week, each time there was a new person, making sure there was
carryover as much as possible. They were complete angels and wanted to help. 0-3 also worked with them regularly
while regularly working with Leo at the center.
Sample day: The first 20 minutes:
Leo wakes up, bathed in sweat due to his unusual chemistry. I change his diaper, grab his milk, and take him into the
bathroom so I can shower. He happily sits down on the stool, knowing the routine. I give him 3 books to look at,
placing them in front of them while I turn on the water.
Leo excitedly starts to take all my shampoo bottles and soaps, wanting to hold them. While shampooing, I constantly
redirect him away from the bottles, trying to get him to look at his books. He keeps at the bottles. I then take an
almost empty bottle, and challenge him to practice taking the twisting the cap on and off. He balks at first, then tries
since I did give him one bottle to hold. He gives up quickly, and tries to hold and stare at it. I take it away. I rinse and
start drying off. He cries, but after we talk about the sizes and colors of the bottles, what we use them for, I prompt him
to say “yellow”, “big”, “little”, and “blue”. He says “yellow!” and I say “Good job Leo, you used your words!”
Happy with “yellow”, I move on to the books while I comb out my hair and brush my teeth. He starts to read Pickle and
Blanket. He stops midway and stares at a page with a purple background, a favorite stimming color. I ask him to point
to the little boy’s face, then the bear, and tell him about the picnic they are having. I ask him if he wants to go on a
picnic one day.
We move into the bedroom so I can put my clothes on. He finds a ball that was under the bed and immediately starts
spinning it while lying on the floor closely staring next to it. I can’t believe the ball found its way into my room, but shrug
my shoulders, pick it up and talk about how we use balls. While bouncing, I say in my cheerleading voice, “We can
throw them and bounce them! This is the right way to play with a ball.” I redirect him ten times, he stops spinning and
actually bounces it twice. I smile and say “Good job!” I pull the shirt over my head, grab the laundry and my water
glass, tell him 3 times to put the ball down, and walk to the stairs.
Each minute of our day is similar to the first 20 minutes. We eat breakfast, go to a kiddie class, put him down for a
nap, grocery shop, make dinner, put him to bed. All the while I keep him present, listening, engaged, and playing
appropriately every moment I have with him.
This was quite a busy, sad, and overwhelming time for all of us. Leo’s 2 year birthday party at our house brought
tears of despair to our eyes. On a beautiful October fall day, about 6 peers played together outside while Leo, not
even looking, was sitting alone on the steps staring at his firetruck. We couldn’t take it away, as he would’ve been
miserable without it. We even got the fire dept to drive over a real firetruck for the kids to see and take a ride.
Overwhelmed by the party, Leo had no interest in the fire truck. His dad made him go on it. Leo sat on his lap and
tolerated it for a few minutes.
Yale evaluated him two weeks after his 2nd birthday. Even though you know what they’ll say, you never forget the
moment they tell you your child has Autism (2 years old). They were so understanding as I shook and cried in their
office. They described in great detail how Leo must be taught what comes naturally to typical children. That he’ll
never learn these concepts and skills on his own.
They gave us proven direction on how to teach him while minimizing his stimming behaviors. They described how we
need to engage and redirect Leo 24/7, every waking moment –until these skills can become his own. We needed to
draw him out every moment possible.
At this time his imagination play time was approximately 2% of his day, prompted. Leo also was in poor physical shape
at that time. He began the DAN! Protocol shortly after his testing.
Schedule: Kiddie classes 3X /wk, play dates at least 1X /wk, daycare 3 afternoons a week (6 hours), and 0-3 therapy 2
to 3X per week (home and daycare), and parent sessions 2X per DAY.
I decided to bite the bullet and force Leo into as many social situations as possible. I went back to having at least one
outside social activity every day with kids his age. I’d insist he participate, or at the very least observe, constantly
pointing at what he should be looking at. Ex: “Look at the teacher’s face. What is she saying to do?” My goal was to
keep him with us, never letting him stim. 0-3 came 2 times per week, training me and Leo. I was so sick of having to
be a two year old model for my son. He hated it, I hated it, but it was great.
I copied the therapists by working with Leo just like they did, 45 Min each morning that they didn’t come at the table. I
also did this at night unless my husband was home early enough to do it. My husband concentrated on gross motor
skills and confidence on the weekends by doing guy stuff, taking him to the playground, etc. He also did swim class
with him, which Leo hated.
He cried through an entire semester of a kiddie class at our Rec Center. Preferring to sit alone, I’d carry Leo around
with kids holding hands and dancing at Music Class. At a pre-nursery school class where parents came too, he’d try to
isolate himself, making a beeline right for the trucks as we entered the room. I asked the staff to hide the trucks during
our session, and I kept him engaged, constantly directing him to appropriate play, or telling him what to say to another
child. We started Gymboree again, and this time I made him do everything the other kids did. I’m sure the other
parents thought I was a hovering crazy woman, or that I was really competitive, but I didn’t care. Needless to say I didn’
t make any friends that season.
I gave each caregiver at daycare a ‘one sheet’ on how to engage Leo, and to keep him with the other kids as much as
possible. I explained to them that his disorder is no excuse to not participate or do tasks. He was expected to do what
all the other kids do. I worked with them each week, each time there was a new person, making sure there was
carryover as much as possible. They were complete angels and wanted to help. 0-3 also worked with them regularly
while regularly working with Leo at the center.
Sample day: The first 20 minutes:
Leo wakes up, bathed in sweat due to his unusual chemistry. I change his diaper, grab his milk, and take him into the
bathroom so I can shower. He happily sits down on the stool, knowing the routine. I give him 3 books to look at,
placing them in front of them while I turn on the water.
Leo excitedly starts to take all my shampoo bottles and soaps, wanting to hold them. While shampooing, I constantly
redirect him away from the bottles, trying to get him to look at his books. He keeps at the bottles. I then take an
almost empty bottle, and challenge him to practice taking the twisting the cap on and off. He balks at first, then tries
since I did give him one bottle to hold. He gives up quickly, and tries to hold and stare at it. I take it away. I rinse and
start drying off. He cries, but after we talk about the sizes and colors of the bottles, what we use them for, I prompt him
to say “yellow”, “big”, “little”, and “blue”. He says “yellow!” and I say “Good job Leo, you used your words!”
Happy with “yellow”, I move on to the books while I comb out my hair and brush my teeth. He starts to read Pickle and
Blanket. He stops midway and stares at a page with a purple background, a favorite stimming color. I ask him to point
to the little boy’s face, then the bear, and tell him about the picnic they are having. I ask him if he wants to go on a
picnic one day.
We move into the bedroom so I can put my clothes on. He finds a ball that was under the bed and immediately starts
spinning it while lying on the floor closely staring next to it. I can’t believe the ball found its way into my room, but shrug
my shoulders, pick it up and talk about how we use balls. While bouncing, I say in my cheerleading voice, “We can
throw them and bounce them! This is the right way to play with a ball.” I redirect him ten times, he stops spinning and
actually bounces it twice. I smile and say “Good job!” I pull the shirt over my head, grab the laundry and my water
glass, tell him 3 times to put the ball down, and walk to the stairs.
Each minute of our day is similar to the first 20 minutes. We eat breakfast, go to a kiddie class, put him down for a
nap, grocery shop, make dinner, put him to bed. All the while I keep him present, listening, engaged, and playing
appropriately every moment I have with him.
January 2001: 2yrs 3 months
Social schedule: 7 hours of daycare, 4 mornings a week classes or play dates, same 0-3 and Mom sessions.
Leo makes incredible gains. The DAN! Protocol makes a big difference is Leo’s physical well-being. His mind is now clear and
as healthy as he’d ever been. His eyes, his skin tone, his face looked great. 90% of the time he would attempt speech rather
than grunting or whining. Full sentences came quickly. His behaviors continued to decrease while his tolerance for novelty
increased. 5% of his day was imaginary play, sometimes without prompting. He was more tolerant of novel things. He actually
went over to his therapist who’d just arrived and eagerly looked in her bag to see what she’d brought!
The caregivers at daycare said he was a different kid. We couldn’t believe it. The Counter-Intuitive Parenting style worked.
He started to parallel play with other kids. The old Leo would have headed in the opposite direction. 0-3 worked more and
more with Leo at daycare, helping Leo in the social environment which clearly was the biggest challenge. They reported he
was so pleased with the help. For example, one day he and another kid were fighting over a toy. His frustration escalated
and he grunted and whined. The therapist gave him the words to say “Can I have my toy?” He turned to the other child and
repeated “Can I have my toy” clearly, prompted to look at his face. The kid gave him the toy. He was DELIGHTED. It was like
he thought, “Hey! It worked!” He was so pleased with himself. His self confidence, always an issue, increased as his success
rate increased. It was one of those defining moments. He was no longer completely intimidated by children. Once a kid was
jumping on a trampoline, smiling at him inviting him to join. The old Leo would have walked right by as if she didn’t exist. He
jumped right in.
EX: Since September, words have been coming faster and faster. The breakdown of the simplest of words seemed to have
boosted his confidence. He will try 90% of the time to say a word. He enjoys talking and likes the attention he gets. He now
says sentences regularly, and says words more clearly and completely. Examples: “Mommy get blue bus please”. “Daddy
throw Wolfie’s ball please”. Bup is now Up, Uhm is now Come, etc. We still prompt for words, but not nearly as much. He
comes up with his own combinations and new words that we’ve never prompted before. He always answers questions. Oddly
enough, in the last couple of weeks he started saying “bye bye Mommy” or whomever. I find it interesting that he said Bye
Bye last, after using full sentences. Most kids say it first. Although we are pleased language has replaced the whining, he is
constantly repeating himself for his wants. We find he tirelessly tries to use language to control his environment.
EX: 5% of his day will be doing imaginary things, such as feeding a stuffed animal. So it’s a slight improvement. He likes to
sweep and vacuum, which may be a perseverating/movement thing. I'm not sure. He has come up with scenarios that we’ve
never shown him. He seems to enjoy them more and more. He is playing more often with little people toys and playmobil-type
toys, and riding a stick horse both with and without his father, and enjoying it.
EX: Leo was jumping on a mat. Another child came up and started doing it too. Rather than walk away, Leo smiled and
started jumping even faster. He followed her for a very short time. This has never happened before. He participates in circle
time, art projects, whatever the rest of the kids are doing. Before he would watch from afar or participate rarely. This is true
in his Music Class, Gymboree, and Pre-Nursery School class that Mom attends with him. He seems less intimidated and has
more confidence. We have worked very hard in training ourselves and day care staff to constantly keep Leo engaged, and
we feel strongly this has paid off.
February, March 2001:2yrs 5 months Leo continued to make rapid progress as we tried to keep up with him, challenging him
as much as possible, “putting the screws to him” every waking moment. One therapist said “One major part of my job is to
convince parents their children are capable”. And this was true. He surprised us at every turn, meeting every goal quickly,
eager for more explanation, information on how to communicate and interpret on his own. He was and still is like a big
sponge. Leo began going to daycare 2 days a week for a 7 hour stretch each time. It was working so well so we added
more. He really liked it now.
as much as possible, “putting the screws to him” every waking moment. One therapist said “One major part of my job is to
convince parents their children are capable”. And this was true. He surprised us at every turn, meeting every goal quickly,
eager for more explanation, information on how to communicate and interpret on his own. He was and still is like a big
sponge. Leo began going to daycare 2 days a week for a 7 hour stretch each time. It was working so well so we added
more. He really liked it now.
April 2001:2yrs 6 months Very encouraged that Leo tested age appropriate for speech. Hired a full time nanny for the baby
that was due beginning of May. We gave Leo this first month to get used to Sylvia. Sylvia also got used to all the prohibited
behaviors, etc. We took her to the grocery store, every class, all our hangouts like Duchess and McDonalds, the mall,
Playzone, etc. We kept Leo going to daycare, naturally. She became comfortable driving our big car and learned how to
navigate herself through our town. Our plan was for the nanny to keep Leo’s schedule completely intact, taking him to every
class, to the park, etc., until I recovered from my planned C-Section. After that I would resume working with Leo constantly,
keeping him on his schedule, until the baby became mobile.
that was due beginning of May. We gave Leo this first month to get used to Sylvia. Sylvia also got used to all the prohibited
behaviors, etc. We took her to the grocery store, every class, all our hangouts like Duchess and McDonalds, the mall,
Playzone, etc. We kept Leo going to daycare, naturally. She became comfortable driving our big car and learned how to
navigate herself through our town. Our plan was for the nanny to keep Leo’s schedule completely intact, taking him to every
class, to the park, etc., until I recovered from my planned C-Section. After that I would resume working with Leo constantly,
keeping him on his schedule, until the baby became mobile.
May 2001: 2yrs 7 months As expected Leo regressed significantly for about 4 months. Relieved I had Sylvia in place, she
took care of the baby while I kept up with our one-on-one. 0-3 recommended I add an extra day of daycare to provide extra
relief for Leo. This worked really well for all of us, as he was either crying or whining for 4 straight months. Literally.
took care of the baby while I kept up with our one-on-one. 0-3 recommended I add an extra day of daycare to provide extra
relief for Leo. This worked really well for all of us, as he was either crying or whining for 4 straight months. Literally.
June thru Sept 2001: 2yrs 8-11 months Leo made his way slowly back to his previous level of functioning over the summer.
Having me available most of the day to keep him present and challenged really helped. It wasn’t easy, as I was nursing
exclusively, so I had to pump twice a day so I could leave the baby with Sylvia. His imaginative play really blossomed. He
loved copying me by nursing and holding his baby doll, taking her for walks in the stroller around the circle. He also became
fascinated with his sister, and found her amusing and an easy audience.
Having me available most of the day to keep him present and challenged really helped. It wasn’t easy, as I was nursing
exclusively, so I had to pump twice a day so I could leave the baby with Sylvia. His imaginative play really blossomed. He
loved copying me by nursing and holding his baby doll, taking her for walks in the stroller around the circle. He also became
fascinated with his sister, and found her amusing and an easy audience.
October 2001: (3yrs) Transitioned from 0-3 to the School District. All therapists and Yale recommended typical preschool
since he was doing so well in daycare.
Schedule: MW speech, W Gymboree, TuTh mornings typical prek, F full daycare day. Usually 2 play dates per week. Time
spent with peers per week is 16 to 18 hours per week, depending on play dates.
Issues: Driving concern is perseverance play, narrow interests, and sensory issues will interfer in concentration, learning,
and socialization in school. Lack of self-monitorization, low frustration point, low confidence level, wildly fluctuating arousal
level characterize his vulnerable areas. Parents fear he’ll get behind in skills again due to the amount of time spent on
behaviors. Parents also fear his behaviors will interfere with him to make friends.
In general, Leo seems uncomfortable with himself, needs constant adult interaction to be content. He’s rarely able to tolerate
being alone in a room while mom is in another for more than a few minutes. At approx 2 ½ years, he’d tolerate being with his
therapist or others without mom in the room. He rarely plays independently unless he’s watching a video or doing a
behavior. Even then he’ll seek an adult for company. He’ll participate in activites and be social with other kids as long as he’s
monitored. We strive to change his en216;stuck’ on something else.
Leo’s turned out to be a very friendly, gentle little guy, that is almost always interested in children. However, Leo often misses
social cues. We are not sure if it’s an age thing or a PDD thing, or a combination. Some of these are; Talking to people out
of range, like through a window. Seeking rough-housing play with a friend who CLEARLY isn’t interested, and Leo won’t
stop. Asking someone if they’d like a french fry, the person says ‘no’, and he keeps asking. Sometimes he’ll repeat a
request over and over, not realizing he must change how he’s asking, speak louder, or perhaps he doesn’t have the intended
person’s attention.
Perseveration has always been the largest issue. About once a month it manifests into something different. It’s usually some
object and some type of repetitive movement. Leo is very easily redirected by an adult. It’s just that left to his own devices,
he’ll seek these behaviors 50% of the day. He continues to need adult interaction.
Cars & trucks continue to pacify him when he is stressed, tired, bored, or isn’t monitored by an adult. He’ll take matchbox
cars and hypnotically role them back & forth on a table, floor, or on himself. He also will closely examine them, 3 or 4 inches
away from his face. He’ll be in a very low arousal state, appearing tired. Often, he’ll lie on his side while doing this. We’ve
compromised by allowing him only matchbox sized cars, as they tend to not interfere in doing other activities like large toys
do. We also stress playing with them appropriately.
Tapping: Lately, he’s been tapping his hands and feet. He’ll often drum very loudly while chanting Ba Ba Black Sheep,
Happy Birthday, or something he makes up. He likes to bang on a ball, tables, and the floor. He also likes to run around the
kitchen table, limping, stamping very hard, while chanting. He’ll do this for 10 seconds or 20 minutes, depending on his
needs.
Visual discrimination: Leo will often fixate on a certain characteristic. One day he’ll say “you have a neck”, as if he just
realized we all have one. For one week he’ll comment about how this person and that person has a neck (belt, nose). He
continues to gravitate towards purple items, and will prefer a puzzle with a purple background. Sometimes he’ll notice the
smallest detail, and other times he’ll miss something really obvious. He can’t seem to get a game where you hide a toy under
one of three cups, move them around and he has to follow and pick the correct cup. It’s like he just can’t follow with his eyes,
and it seems like he’s really trying.
Past behaviors include opening and closing doors &cabinets, carrying around and being obsessed with milk cartons, purple
items, and seat belts. Occasionally he’ll perseverate with scripts, repeating something a request 30 times in a row. It was
really bad, all day for a long time. Now it’s minimal, but does come up every couple days. Other significant behaviors include
watching water flow from hoses and cups, and loves to put his hands under the water in the sink.
Stimming was reduced to approx. 50% of the time. We carefully monitored vehicles, as he was playing with them
appropriately as long as we were present. Once we weren’t, he’d start to stim. Visual discrimination deficits became more
apparent. Ex: Realizing that all people have a neck. Checking each person he sees, and amazed at this fact. Talking to
people that were outside through a closed window. Obsessions changed every few weeks, becoming more sophisticated. At
this point he loved to hold several milk cartons, and tried to snow us into thinking he is pretending with them, when he was
actually just staring at them.
Parents rejoice during Leo’s third birthday party, looking back at the long hard year, and see a happy healthy boy bouncing
on his trampoline outside with 5 peers. Laughing, chatting, initiating chase games, Leo is the social butterfly. We look at
each other with tears of happiness rather than sadness like last year.
Leo is re-evaluated at Yale. Even Yale was shocked at the level of progress Leo had made, validating all my time and hard
work with Leo. They again gave us great direction on how to address Leo’s social issues, how to specifically teach him these
skills.
Communication: Leo’s communication problems contribute to his social and emotional difficulties. Has a hard time integrating
all social elements together (ex: asking a question but not looking at the listener). Has a tough time shifting attention between
objects and people, which provides a foundation for interpreting intents, perspectives, emotional expressions. His language
strength is misleading in that his grammatical morphemes & sentence structures are constrained given his language stage.
His use of over-generalizedword forms (from word retrieval difficulties) compromise the clarity of Leo’s messages, likely to lead
to frequent communication breakdowns, especially with peers. Uses scripted language. Decreased sense of himself as an
effective communicator. Decreased rate of self-initiated communication. Leo has sentence formulation difficulties and
trouble monitoring interests and intents of conversational partner. These vulnerabilities need to be aggressively addressed in
order to prevent behavioral difficulties, frustration, and to foster social and communication development, to establish social
relationships and benefit from an academic setting.
Examples are:
1) Leo has a hard time sharing since he can’t expressive himself efficiently in the heat of the moment (word retrieval). (ex:
easily yells and grabs during a dispute over a toy)
2) Leo often can’t effectively explain something or “read” his listener. (ex: Still tickles a friend after friend frowns and backs
away)
3) One-on-one we can see frustration or anxiety and diffuse or help him, in less controlled situations it’s difficult (ex: kids all
doing same activity)
4) Can become overly focused or rigid on toys and materials, less able to utilize context to correct erroneous impressions (ex:
seeks and covets all purple crayons while coloring with others, misses out socially)
5) Seeks out adults to navigate the social environment, using adults to clarify things for which he has less of an intuitive
understanding. (ex: uses lots of questions to show anxiety, requires lots of explanation – we are his eyes and ears to the
world.
6) Likes topics in immediate context rather than past events. This is due to word retrieval, and lack of awareness about what
the listener knows and doesn’t know. (ex: he doesn’t realize Mommy didn’t go to the museum, so Mommy can’t comment or
explain things)
7) Tough maintaining a simple conversational exchange beyond 3 to 4 conversational turns. (ex: If he can’t “say what he
wants to say”, will back out by changing the subject, using humor, or other distractions that he knows will please the listener
(ex: “let’s color!” when we know his dislikes it)
Integration: Sometimes imitates without fully understanding the entire context. He’s vulnerable given he may reproduce an
action or respond adequately to a social demand by modeling only part of the action. He responds appropriately without
necessarily understanding the full context. He may pick one cue to respond to, say “That’s funny” without any facial gestures
that would show he really thinks it is funny.
Novelty: Leo performs at a higher level, is more comfortable, speaks more fluently in familiar situations. If adults not present,
will revert to more self-isolating style, more primitive play. Distracted by minor details, structure & familiarity will continue to be
needed until a more solid sense of imaginative play is internalized. When modeling scripted/language isn’t available, as in
novel contexts, his own rule system compromises his ability to form even simple sentences. This is why Leo compensates by
copying others very well.
Associative Learning: He can’t take his knowledge of a concept and apply it to a novel instance very well. Has difficulty
getting the context of a situation (defined by cues; changing facial expressions, variable tone of voice, posture, gestures).
Learns by “chunks”, the way things occur rather than how they integrate with his internalized body of knowledge and
experiences, making him particularly vulnerable to decontextualized copying of others.
Fine motor
Below average, at 31 month level. Ex: holding crayon effectively, drawing, imitating basic shapes. Can’t copy a 3 piece tower
(visual integration).
Baby is happy in bouncy chair or on my lap while I work with Leo. She can even nurse while I do this.
Holidays are spent as opportunities to have parties at our house, Leo learns to share well, tolerates the activities well,
although quite an overstimulating and exhausting time. Forms even more solid relationships with other family members, talks
on phone well.
since he was doing so well in daycare.
Schedule: MW speech, W Gymboree, TuTh mornings typical prek, F full daycare day. Usually 2 play dates per week. Time
spent with peers per week is 16 to 18 hours per week, depending on play dates.
Issues: Driving concern is perseverance play, narrow interests, and sensory issues will interfer in concentration, learning,
and socialization in school. Lack of self-monitorization, low frustration point, low confidence level, wildly fluctuating arousal
level characterize his vulnerable areas. Parents fear he’ll get behind in skills again due to the amount of time spent on
behaviors. Parents also fear his behaviors will interfere with him to make friends.
In general, Leo seems uncomfortable with himself, needs constant adult interaction to be content. He’s rarely able to tolerate
being alone in a room while mom is in another for more than a few minutes. At approx 2 ½ years, he’d tolerate being with his
therapist or others without mom in the room. He rarely plays independently unless he’s watching a video or doing a
behavior. Even then he’ll seek an adult for company. He’ll participate in activites and be social with other kids as long as he’s
monitored. We strive to change his en216;stuck’ on something else.
Leo’s turned out to be a very friendly, gentle little guy, that is almost always interested in children. However, Leo often misses
social cues. We are not sure if it’s an age thing or a PDD thing, or a combination. Some of these are; Talking to people out
of range, like through a window. Seeking rough-housing play with a friend who CLEARLY isn’t interested, and Leo won’t
stop. Asking someone if they’d like a french fry, the person says ‘no’, and he keeps asking. Sometimes he’ll repeat a
request over and over, not realizing he must change how he’s asking, speak louder, or perhaps he doesn’t have the intended
person’s attention.
Perseveration has always been the largest issue. About once a month it manifests into something different. It’s usually some
object and some type of repetitive movement. Leo is very easily redirected by an adult. It’s just that left to his own devices,
he’ll seek these behaviors 50% of the day. He continues to need adult interaction.
Cars & trucks continue to pacify him when he is stressed, tired, bored, or isn’t monitored by an adult. He’ll take matchbox
cars and hypnotically role them back & forth on a table, floor, or on himself. He also will closely examine them, 3 or 4 inches
away from his face. He’ll be in a very low arousal state, appearing tired. Often, he’ll lie on his side while doing this. We’ve
compromised by allowing him only matchbox sized cars, as they tend to not interfere in doing other activities like large toys
do. We also stress playing with them appropriately.
Tapping: Lately, he’s been tapping his hands and feet. He’ll often drum very loudly while chanting Ba Ba Black Sheep,
Happy Birthday, or something he makes up. He likes to bang on a ball, tables, and the floor. He also likes to run around the
kitchen table, limping, stamping very hard, while chanting. He’ll do this for 10 seconds or 20 minutes, depending on his
needs.
Visual discrimination: Leo will often fixate on a certain characteristic. One day he’ll say “you have a neck”, as if he just
realized we all have one. For one week he’ll comment about how this person and that person has a neck (belt, nose). He
continues to gravitate towards purple items, and will prefer a puzzle with a purple background. Sometimes he’ll notice the
smallest detail, and other times he’ll miss something really obvious. He can’t seem to get a game where you hide a toy under
one of three cups, move them around and he has to follow and pick the correct cup. It’s like he just can’t follow with his eyes,
and it seems like he’s really trying.
Past behaviors include opening and closing doors &cabinets, carrying around and being obsessed with milk cartons, purple
items, and seat belts. Occasionally he’ll perseverate with scripts, repeating something a request 30 times in a row. It was
really bad, all day for a long time. Now it’s minimal, but does come up every couple days. Other significant behaviors include
watching water flow from hoses and cups, and loves to put his hands under the water in the sink.
Stimming was reduced to approx. 50% of the time. We carefully monitored vehicles, as he was playing with them
appropriately as long as we were present. Once we weren’t, he’d start to stim. Visual discrimination deficits became more
apparent. Ex: Realizing that all people have a neck. Checking each person he sees, and amazed at this fact. Talking to
people that were outside through a closed window. Obsessions changed every few weeks, becoming more sophisticated. At
this point he loved to hold several milk cartons, and tried to snow us into thinking he is pretending with them, when he was
actually just staring at them.
Parents rejoice during Leo’s third birthday party, looking back at the long hard year, and see a happy healthy boy bouncing
on his trampoline outside with 5 peers. Laughing, chatting, initiating chase games, Leo is the social butterfly. We look at
each other with tears of happiness rather than sadness like last year.
Leo is re-evaluated at Yale. Even Yale was shocked at the level of progress Leo had made, validating all my time and hard
work with Leo. They again gave us great direction on how to address Leo’s social issues, how to specifically teach him these
skills.
Communication: Leo’s communication problems contribute to his social and emotional difficulties. Has a hard time integrating
all social elements together (ex: asking a question but not looking at the listener). Has a tough time shifting attention between
objects and people, which provides a foundation for interpreting intents, perspectives, emotional expressions. His language
strength is misleading in that his grammatical morphemes & sentence structures are constrained given his language stage.
His use of over-generalizedword forms (from word retrieval difficulties) compromise the clarity of Leo’s messages, likely to lead
to frequent communication breakdowns, especially with peers. Uses scripted language. Decreased sense of himself as an
effective communicator. Decreased rate of self-initiated communication. Leo has sentence formulation difficulties and
trouble monitoring interests and intents of conversational partner. These vulnerabilities need to be aggressively addressed in
order to prevent behavioral difficulties, frustration, and to foster social and communication development, to establish social
relationships and benefit from an academic setting.
Examples are:
1) Leo has a hard time sharing since he can’t expressive himself efficiently in the heat of the moment (word retrieval). (ex:
easily yells and grabs during a dispute over a toy)
2) Leo often can’t effectively explain something or “read” his listener. (ex: Still tickles a friend after friend frowns and backs
away)
3) One-on-one we can see frustration or anxiety and diffuse or help him, in less controlled situations it’s difficult (ex: kids all
doing same activity)
4) Can become overly focused or rigid on toys and materials, less able to utilize context to correct erroneous impressions (ex:
seeks and covets all purple crayons while coloring with others, misses out socially)
5) Seeks out adults to navigate the social environment, using adults to clarify things for which he has less of an intuitive
understanding. (ex: uses lots of questions to show anxiety, requires lots of explanation – we are his eyes and ears to the
world.
6) Likes topics in immediate context rather than past events. This is due to word retrieval, and lack of awareness about what
the listener knows and doesn’t know. (ex: he doesn’t realize Mommy didn’t go to the museum, so Mommy can’t comment or
explain things)
7) Tough maintaining a simple conversational exchange beyond 3 to 4 conversational turns. (ex: If he can’t “say what he
wants to say”, will back out by changing the subject, using humor, or other distractions that he knows will please the listener
(ex: “let’s color!” when we know his dislikes it)
Integration: Sometimes imitates without fully understanding the entire context. He’s vulnerable given he may reproduce an
action or respond adequately to a social demand by modeling only part of the action. He responds appropriately without
necessarily understanding the full context. He may pick one cue to respond to, say “That’s funny” without any facial gestures
that would show he really thinks it is funny.
Novelty: Leo performs at a higher level, is more comfortable, speaks more fluently in familiar situations. If adults not present,
will revert to more self-isolating style, more primitive play. Distracted by minor details, structure & familiarity will continue to be
needed until a more solid sense of imaginative play is internalized. When modeling scripted/language isn’t available, as in
novel contexts, his own rule system compromises his ability to form even simple sentences. This is why Leo compensates by
copying others very well.
Associative Learning: He can’t take his knowledge of a concept and apply it to a novel instance very well. Has difficulty
getting the context of a situation (defined by cues; changing facial expressions, variable tone of voice, posture, gestures).
Learns by “chunks”, the way things occur rather than how they integrate with his internalized body of knowledge and
experiences, making him particularly vulnerable to decontextualized copying of others.
Fine motor
Below average, at 31 month level. Ex: holding crayon effectively, drawing, imitating basic shapes. Can’t copy a 3 piece tower
(visual integration).
Baby is happy in bouncy chair or on my lap while I work with Leo. She can even nurse while I do this.
Holidays are spent as opportunities to have parties at our house, Leo learns to share well, tolerates the activities well,
although quite an overstimulating and exhausting time. Forms even more solid relationships with other family members, talks
on phone well.
January 2002:3yrs 3 months Baby Sydney (8 mos) has been crawling for a couple months now, and is more demanding. Leo
seems to have plateaued, seeing more of a gap socially during playdates. Frustration level starts to increase as Mom’s attention
is diverted to baby. It was quite depressing to see Leo stimming more. Mom doesn’t have as much opportunity to work with Leo
one-on-one. Very challenging to fit in that table time. Panicked, I discuss my concerns with the SLP and Guidance Counselor at
the school, seeing if there are ways we can address his social issues better. They felt comfortable with his current services.
Waiting for Yales’ re-eval written report.
seems to have plateaued, seeing more of a gap socially during playdates. Frustration level starts to increase as Mom’s attention
is diverted to baby. It was quite depressing to see Leo stimming more. Mom doesn’t have as much opportunity to work with Leo
one-on-one. Very challenging to fit in that table time. Panicked, I discuss my concerns with the SLP and Guidance Counselor at
the school, seeing if there are ways we can address his social issues better. They felt comfortable with his current services.
Waiting for Yales’ re-eval written report.
March 2002: 3yrs 5 months Although Leo seemed happy and still progressing in some areas, socially Leo continued to stay at
the same level. The social gap seemed to be more apparent yet again. He began to hang back like he used to with children.
Leo continued to demonstrate he can imitate well, although decontextualized. Showed he was a quick learner, responded well
to direction and structure. Sought help again from school to no avail, sought private help, educated myself about how to best
address Leo’s needs.
the same level. The social gap seemed to be more apparent yet again. He began to hang back like he used to with children.
Leo continued to demonstrate he can imitate well, although decontextualized. Showed he was a quick learner, responded well
to direction and structure. Sought help again from school to no avail, sought private help, educated myself about how to best
address Leo’s needs.
June-July 2002: 3yrs 8-9 months Completely burned-out, Mother found an ABA provider that specialized in social skills training for
high functioning children like Leo. They started, saw immediate results (carryover). I felt tremendous relief that these two
experienced therapists were working with Leo one-on-one, “putting the screws to him” just like I do, but even better since they are so
experienced with these kids. Finally, professionals that address issues other than negative behaviors or academic issues.
high functioning children like Leo. They started, saw immediate results (carryover). I felt tremendous relief that these two
experienced therapists were working with Leo one-on-one, “putting the screws to him” just like I do, but even better since they are so
experienced with these kids. Finally, professionals that address issues other than negative behaviors or academic issues.
September 2002: 3yrs 11 months After 8 months of very little intervention, Leo has an excellent program in place for this new
school year. Leo was ecstatic at his preschool’s open house. He was excited to see his friends and teachers.
school year. Leo was ecstatic at his preschool’s open house. He was excited to see his friends and teachers.
October 2002: 4 yrs old The last PPT, 9/11/02, we agreed to his attached schedule, fine tuning his services and adding the intensive
social skills training provided by an ABA provider that specializes in higher level social programs (theory of mind, executive functioing,
abstract thinking programs). School agreed to 14 hours of services, although parents and ABA provder believe Leo needs another 6
hours to make our goal of sending Leo to kindergarten with no support. Still working on matching the IEP with what we agreed to in the
PPT meeting.
Goal agreed to at PPT was to look at Leo holistically, since Autism is pervasive across all areas of development. Because of this we
need to continue the intensity of services, knowing he will fall behind even if he’s not ‘significant’ in certain areas now. As a whole child,
intensive services will give him the best chance at being as typical as possible, as research has shown. This also makes the best
financial sense for the schools.
Receiving therapy at school is challenging for Leo and needs time to transition. Typical for children with Autism. Needs Mom or another
person he knows with him until he’s comfortable in a new environment and a new person. Especially in the bigger elementary school
where it’s much busier, and he gets services in the morning when it’s bus time.
social skills training provided by an ABA provider that specializes in higher level social programs (theory of mind, executive functioing,
abstract thinking programs). School agreed to 14 hours of services, although parents and ABA provder believe Leo needs another 6
hours to make our goal of sending Leo to kindergarten with no support. Still working on matching the IEP with what we agreed to in the
PPT meeting.
Goal agreed to at PPT was to look at Leo holistically, since Autism is pervasive across all areas of development. Because of this we
need to continue the intensity of services, knowing he will fall behind even if he’s not ‘significant’ in certain areas now. As a whole child,
intensive services will give him the best chance at being as typical as possible, as research has shown. This also makes the best
financial sense for the schools.
Receiving therapy at school is challenging for Leo and needs time to transition. Typical for children with Autism. Needs Mom or another
person he knows with him until he’s comfortable in a new environment and a new person. Especially in the bigger elementary school
where it’s much busier, and he gets services in the morning when it’s bus time.
November 2002:4yrs 1 month After a full year of sitting at the end of the hall with Sydney while Leo is in Speech, OT, or PT at school,
Leo can tolerate us leaving him. Yes! This was attributed to his continued inability to cope without mom coupled by a toilet fear that
began back in March. Now it takes just a few sessions with a new therapist or new room to be comfortable without mom.
Leo can tolerate us leaving him. Yes! This was attributed to his continued inability to cope without mom coupled by a toilet fear that
began back in March. Now it takes just a few sessions with a new therapist or new room to be comfortable without mom.
December’02 – January’03 Issues:4yrs 2 months to 3 months
In Public: A new toilet is still an issue, and requires a ‘bathroom buddy’ to go with him. It’s rooted in the unpredictability of plumbing
noises, gurgling, and flushing. This began back in March when he had an automatic toilet flush on him while he was still sitting on the
toilet. It was the fright of his very short life. He can manage NYC streets and busy parking lots as long as he has a hand. If stressed, he
will get quiet. When asked, he’ll say ‘there’s too many people’ or that he’s ‘a little nervous’. Has mastered going on an escalator with no
hand, and is no longer worried about elevators. Very chatty to strangers and checkers in grocery stores, and the occasional ‘unfriendly’
person, which he doesn’t notice.
At Home: Swim class (can’t see bottom), haircuts, fear of unfamiliar toilets, being alone in the woods or far from others in the house (like
being downstairs by himself). Housekeepers (unpredictability of when they show up, and come in unannounced).
In School/Daycare: Self monitoring skills, monitoring others, managing social situations with larger groups of kids, peer and group re-
entry skills, pragmatics, speed of speech, retrieval, gestures, proximity, perspective taking, flexible thinking, gross motor planning,
drawing, proprioceptive issues, cause & effect, constructive play, role taking, symbolic play, staying on topic, gaining attention,
categorization, perseverating on his chosen special friend to ‘get him through the day’.
Repetitive Behaviors: question forms, song phrases, banging with hands, stamping with feet (walking and running hard). Stuffing hands
in mouth at any time, especially when in transition or ‘shy’ in a novel situation. Staring at wheels on cars, flashing lights, out brightly-lit
windows. Eating: Over-stuffing, putting hands in mouth. Putting spoon over mouth and pressing hard.
And Now the Good Stuff
Leo is making incredible progress in all areas. Areas listed above are all improving significantly. He makes initiations with peers
regularly, responds well, makes conversation, and pays attention most of the time. He’s a very compliant boy.
As mentioned, he is able to separate and be on his own out of the house, with another adult. Leo now TELLS me to go home or run
errands while he is in Speech.
Although sensory issues have ‘flushed out’ now that he’s older, these identified areas are improving. He can now tolerate warm or hot
food, and even asks me to warm up his pasta or rice in the microwave.
Leo will sometimes identify that he needs to stamp his feet, and will go right to the trampoline on his own. If he needs to tap his hands, he’
ll go get a basketball. Leo will often realize he’s hungry or tired, and either grab a snack or lie on the couch on his own.
Leo is also overcoming Gymnastics class challenges. Leo has always been interested in tumble play, except for anything resembling a
summersault. He’s gone from being teary and miserable through an entire class to really enjoying himself AND telling his teachers when
he doesn’t want to do something, effectively.
Leo can now generalize what he’s learned into new situations. For example, his therapist had been working on gaining attention during
the home program. Recently I was at the computer, and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I realized he’d been calling me, and since that didn’t
work he gave me a tap.
Leo is more aware of his senses, and which ones give him certain information. This summer Leo was unable to tell us HOW he knew
Sydney was awake (we could hear her on the baby monitor). He had no idea. Now he can say he heard, saw, smelled, and felt
something.
Leo was able to tell me how he got a big egg on the side of his head at daycare. He said “Jonathon pushed me into the brick wall
because I threw the ball at him, really hard, like THIS.” (shows me with his hands). When asked why he did this he said, “Because
Jonathon made Liam cry”.
A fun commenting story: To the delight of both Leo and sister Sydney, our outside cat walked in the front door the other night. The cat
had never been in before. I was busy cooking dinner, and was pleased that for now I had a fun distraction for them. After a few minutes
Leo tells me that the cat went upstairs. I asked him to check on the cat, and try to coax him back downstairs. He excitedly runs up, and a
minute later comes down (rather than talking too far away) and says, “He’s in your shower. I went into the shower and petted him”. He
runs back up, and says (in an appropriate loud voice so I can hear), “Now he’s having a look in daddy’s closet, now he’s under the bed.
He’s so cute mom.” After a few minutes, Leo then says “I’m a little frustrated with the kitty, he’s not coming down”.
Free Play: Leo’s main play area, the family room, is now arranged like a preschool. It’s got a table and chairs, easel, and clear drawers
that organize his crayons, stickers, stamps, paint, etc. More clear plastic drawers organize his toys so there is little clutter. This seems to
have made a difference in appropriate choices for toys to play with, and appropriately.
He likes his binoculars (“mom, you’re really close now”), and taking pictures and getting them developed. Loves to make pancakes, and
bake cookies and muffins, all of the steps, from ingredients to mixing to pouring, to watching them bake and telling me they are brown.
With others, he chooses to play board games and action heroes (“Batman is good, the joker is a bad guy, mom”), sing songs together
with instruments, and read books.
Leo is obsessed with music and instruments. Since he was 3 he’s been able to identify what type of music he hears, whether it’s R&B,
classical, rock & roll. He can also identify the instrument (and if it’s acoustic or electric). He can play a chord, and most of the time locate
middle C on any piano.
Playing an instrument is always the first choice for stimming. He likes to play very loud, to music he hears or on video, or just on his own.
He also likes to watch himself in the mirror, and be like the Wiggles,Raffi, U2, The Hives, or Rent Broadway show.
Leo likes to look at maps of the world. He likes to talk about where we live in relation to Grandma in Florida or Aunt Loryn in California.
He also likes to discuss north and south. “We are south of Canada”. “Florida is very south”. He also likes to know people’s last names
and where items were purchased.
The cat taught Leo about death this fall, when he left us a few prizes. This began the discussion, and overall anxiety for about 2 months.
It’s no longer top of mind, but does come up every couple of days.
It all started with questions like: What does death look like? Who dies? Why do people and animals die? Does everyone die? Will I
die? Will you die? If you die, who will be with me? What is heaven like? What is a soul? I don’t want you to die. (by the time I die, you’ll
probably be married with your own kids, they’ll be with you). Who will be my wife? I’m sad that Big Puppy (attachment object) can’t go to
heaven since he’s not real (on his own he put that together). I’m happy you’ll be waiting for me when it’s my turn to die. When will I die?
(probably when you are very old). How many is that? (Around 100).
His anxiety decreased when I got the idea to place a very long piece of masking tape on the family room floor, and numbered it from 0 to
110. I showed him visually how young he is, and how far he has to go. And I showed him how Mom and Dad are closer to dying, and that
Sydney has longer to go. He was very relieved after that, and 2 weeks later the masking tape could come up. We discussed how death
is a sad topic, and that we usually don’t talk about it, and when it’s okay to do so.
And natch, the death topic moved right on to outer space. Is heaven in outer space? Can we see heaven? Are aliens real? Will they
come into my room? Can we go to other planets? What are atmosphere, air, planets, stars, and the solar system? He likes astronauts
and space shuttles. He now has a poster in his room that he loves.
Recently, Leo ‘gets’ movies. He can watch an entire age appropriate movie. Leo is beginning to understand that people do bad things
and bad things happen. He gets sad when the bad men steal the sheep in Babe, sometimes teary about it. In Toy Story, he thinks the
bad kid is mean to his toys, and in Beauty and the Beast, he can’t wait till the Beast becomes nice.
Most mornings, Leo has difficulty with Daddy going to work. He cries and is in a bad mood for about 20 minutes. No matter what we say
and how we change things, he is like this. It’s also hard on Leo since Dad is gone 2 nights per week away on business.
Leo cries after almost all of his playdates, doesn’t want his friends to leave. This is a new one. We take pictures of his friends, and he
does understand that he’ll see them next week or at school.
Leo now gets that accidents happen. He doesn’t immediately say, “you aren’t my friend anymore” when a kid bumps into him and makes
him fall, as an example.
Out of house activities: He loves to explore supermarkets and drug stores (Eckerd is his favorite). Likes restaurants and is very good at
them. Going to open houses, the mall, Playzone, walks in the woods, friends houses, the park when it’s not 10 degrees, and his absolute
favorite, visiting Grandma in NYC.
In Public: A new toilet is still an issue, and requires a ‘bathroom buddy’ to go with him. It’s rooted in the unpredictability of plumbing
noises, gurgling, and flushing. This began back in March when he had an automatic toilet flush on him while he was still sitting on the
toilet. It was the fright of his very short life. He can manage NYC streets and busy parking lots as long as he has a hand. If stressed, he
will get quiet. When asked, he’ll say ‘there’s too many people’ or that he’s ‘a little nervous’. Has mastered going on an escalator with no
hand, and is no longer worried about elevators. Very chatty to strangers and checkers in grocery stores, and the occasional ‘unfriendly’
person, which he doesn’t notice.
At Home: Swim class (can’t see bottom), haircuts, fear of unfamiliar toilets, being alone in the woods or far from others in the house (like
being downstairs by himself). Housekeepers (unpredictability of when they show up, and come in unannounced).
In School/Daycare: Self monitoring skills, monitoring others, managing social situations with larger groups of kids, peer and group re-
entry skills, pragmatics, speed of speech, retrieval, gestures, proximity, perspective taking, flexible thinking, gross motor planning,
drawing, proprioceptive issues, cause & effect, constructive play, role taking, symbolic play, staying on topic, gaining attention,
categorization, perseverating on his chosen special friend to ‘get him through the day’.
Repetitive Behaviors: question forms, song phrases, banging with hands, stamping with feet (walking and running hard). Stuffing hands
in mouth at any time, especially when in transition or ‘shy’ in a novel situation. Staring at wheels on cars, flashing lights, out brightly-lit
windows. Eating: Over-stuffing, putting hands in mouth. Putting spoon over mouth and pressing hard.
And Now the Good Stuff
Leo is making incredible progress in all areas. Areas listed above are all improving significantly. He makes initiations with peers
regularly, responds well, makes conversation, and pays attention most of the time. He’s a very compliant boy.
As mentioned, he is able to separate and be on his own out of the house, with another adult. Leo now TELLS me to go home or run
errands while he is in Speech.
Although sensory issues have ‘flushed out’ now that he’s older, these identified areas are improving. He can now tolerate warm or hot
food, and even asks me to warm up his pasta or rice in the microwave.
Leo will sometimes identify that he needs to stamp his feet, and will go right to the trampoline on his own. If he needs to tap his hands, he’
ll go get a basketball. Leo will often realize he’s hungry or tired, and either grab a snack or lie on the couch on his own.
Leo is also overcoming Gymnastics class challenges. Leo has always been interested in tumble play, except for anything resembling a
summersault. He’s gone from being teary and miserable through an entire class to really enjoying himself AND telling his teachers when
he doesn’t want to do something, effectively.
Leo can now generalize what he’s learned into new situations. For example, his therapist had been working on gaining attention during
the home program. Recently I was at the computer, and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I realized he’d been calling me, and since that didn’t
work he gave me a tap.
Leo is more aware of his senses, and which ones give him certain information. This summer Leo was unable to tell us HOW he knew
Sydney was awake (we could hear her on the baby monitor). He had no idea. Now he can say he heard, saw, smelled, and felt
something.
Leo was able to tell me how he got a big egg on the side of his head at daycare. He said “Jonathon pushed me into the brick wall
because I threw the ball at him, really hard, like THIS.” (shows me with his hands). When asked why he did this he said, “Because
Jonathon made Liam cry”.
A fun commenting story: To the delight of both Leo and sister Sydney, our outside cat walked in the front door the other night. The cat
had never been in before. I was busy cooking dinner, and was pleased that for now I had a fun distraction for them. After a few minutes
Leo tells me that the cat went upstairs. I asked him to check on the cat, and try to coax him back downstairs. He excitedly runs up, and a
minute later comes down (rather than talking too far away) and says, “He’s in your shower. I went into the shower and petted him”. He
runs back up, and says (in an appropriate loud voice so I can hear), “Now he’s having a look in daddy’s closet, now he’s under the bed.
He’s so cute mom.” After a few minutes, Leo then says “I’m a little frustrated with the kitty, he’s not coming down”.
Free Play: Leo’s main play area, the family room, is now arranged like a preschool. It’s got a table and chairs, easel, and clear drawers
that organize his crayons, stickers, stamps, paint, etc. More clear plastic drawers organize his toys so there is little clutter. This seems to
have made a difference in appropriate choices for toys to play with, and appropriately.
He likes his binoculars (“mom, you’re really close now”), and taking pictures and getting them developed. Loves to make pancakes, and
bake cookies and muffins, all of the steps, from ingredients to mixing to pouring, to watching them bake and telling me they are brown.
With others, he chooses to play board games and action heroes (“Batman is good, the joker is a bad guy, mom”), sing songs together
with instruments, and read books.
Leo is obsessed with music and instruments. Since he was 3 he’s been able to identify what type of music he hears, whether it’s R&B,
classical, rock & roll. He can also identify the instrument (and if it’s acoustic or electric). He can play a chord, and most of the time locate
middle C on any piano.
Playing an instrument is always the first choice for stimming. He likes to play very loud, to music he hears or on video, or just on his own.
He also likes to watch himself in the mirror, and be like the Wiggles,Raffi, U2, The Hives, or Rent Broadway show.
Leo likes to look at maps of the world. He likes to talk about where we live in relation to Grandma in Florida or Aunt Loryn in California.
He also likes to discuss north and south. “We are south of Canada”. “Florida is very south”. He also likes to know people’s last names
and where items were purchased.
The cat taught Leo about death this fall, when he left us a few prizes. This began the discussion, and overall anxiety for about 2 months.
It’s no longer top of mind, but does come up every couple of days.
It all started with questions like: What does death look like? Who dies? Why do people and animals die? Does everyone die? Will I
die? Will you die? If you die, who will be with me? What is heaven like? What is a soul? I don’t want you to die. (by the time I die, you’ll
probably be married with your own kids, they’ll be with you). Who will be my wife? I’m sad that Big Puppy (attachment object) can’t go to
heaven since he’s not real (on his own he put that together). I’m happy you’ll be waiting for me when it’s my turn to die. When will I die?
(probably when you are very old). How many is that? (Around 100).
His anxiety decreased when I got the idea to place a very long piece of masking tape on the family room floor, and numbered it from 0 to
110. I showed him visually how young he is, and how far he has to go. And I showed him how Mom and Dad are closer to dying, and that
Sydney has longer to go. He was very relieved after that, and 2 weeks later the masking tape could come up. We discussed how death
is a sad topic, and that we usually don’t talk about it, and when it’s okay to do so.
And natch, the death topic moved right on to outer space. Is heaven in outer space? Can we see heaven? Are aliens real? Will they
come into my room? Can we go to other planets? What are atmosphere, air, planets, stars, and the solar system? He likes astronauts
and space shuttles. He now has a poster in his room that he loves.
Recently, Leo ‘gets’ movies. He can watch an entire age appropriate movie. Leo is beginning to understand that people do bad things
and bad things happen. He gets sad when the bad men steal the sheep in Babe, sometimes teary about it. In Toy Story, he thinks the
bad kid is mean to his toys, and in Beauty and the Beast, he can’t wait till the Beast becomes nice.
Most mornings, Leo has difficulty with Daddy going to work. He cries and is in a bad mood for about 20 minutes. No matter what we say
and how we change things, he is like this. It’s also hard on Leo since Dad is gone 2 nights per week away on business.
Leo cries after almost all of his playdates, doesn’t want his friends to leave. This is a new one. We take pictures of his friends, and he
does understand that he’ll see them next week or at school.
Leo now gets that accidents happen. He doesn’t immediately say, “you aren’t my friend anymore” when a kid bumps into him and makes
him fall, as an example.
Out of house activities: He loves to explore supermarkets and drug stores (Eckerd is his favorite). Likes restaurants and is very good at
them. Going to open houses, the mall, Playzone, walks in the woods, friends houses, the park when it’s not 10 degrees, and his absolute
favorite, visiting Grandma in NYC.
February 2003 4 yrs 4mos
Dream Team assessed Leo over a period of a couple weeks. We were then up and running with a direct instruction program, and
shadowing at daycare and camp (this was summer). Increased: Self-confidence, tolerance for a busy environment, initiation, less anxiety,
enjoyment of preferred and nonpreferred activities. Wide repertoire of skills keep him part of the group, does not stand out. Dream Team
developed an ideal scenario for Leo’s last preschool year. They looked at the environments, curriculum, style, teaching staff, and most
importantly peers. They decided that a combination of daycare and his current preschool would make an ideal social environment for his
final year. Goals: Self monitoring skills, monitoring others, interpreting various social situations, peer group entry skills, pragmatics,
perspective taking, abstract reasoning skills
Before this intervention, Leo could never play alone or with a peer without prompting and redirection. Leo now has a wide range of play
skills. He can have 5 conversation exchanges with a peer about something that is not his topic. Some of the programs Leo has mastered or
greatly improved upon; symbolic play, tell me about, tell me how to, topic towers, gross motor, same/different, senses, WH questions,
preferences, intentions, features, inferences, flexibility, barrier games, cause & effect, concepts, constructive play, desires, drawing,
emotional causality, fine motor, humor, verbal inhibition, knowing, role taking, sensory perspective taking, social judgement, listen to the
story, thinking, TOM, figure of speech.
Reduction or extermination of the following preservative behaviors: question forms, banging with hands, flicking with fingers, stamping with
feet (walking and running hard). Chanting made-up words. Banging and chanting at nite b4 bed, stuffing hands in mouth at any time,
especially when in transition or ‘shy’ in a novel situation. Staring at drains and toilets. Staring at wheels on cars. Mealtime sensory issues:
Over-stuffing, putting hands in mouth. Putting spoon over mouth and pressing hard. Eliminated fear of toilets.
Leo understands and appreciates that I do not know what happens at school, and that I am interested in hearing about it because I love him
and that it’s my job. He tells me about things that he knows I want to hear, like about who he played with, what kind of art he did, if he had a
special job, etc, with no prompting, He will just tell me about school because he likes to share that information, and he knows it’s what I want
to hear. He’s proud of himself, and likes to please me. Leo will tell me a story about what happened at the grocery store with Dad,
knowing that I wasn’t there. He knows what I like and do not like to talk about. He understands that people like to listen to and discuss
novel things, not stuff they already know about.
Recently Leo asked for a piece of gum. He knows Sydney isn’t aloud gum because she is too little. She came into the room while he was
chewing gum and I was eating a shrimp salad. Sydney immediately asked Leo what he was eating, and he replied "shrimp", and turned and
smiled at me. We both laughed, and then I cried.
I picked up Leo after school one day, and told him that we were not going home, that we were going to someplace that’s a surprise. He
pestered me for a few minutes, and was really excited about the prospect. He then turned to his 2 ½ yr old sister and said, "Leo, do you
know where we are going?". Since she heard me talking on the phone earlier, she said "We are going to Tim’s house!". He smiled at me
triumphantly, and then we both laughed.
I heard Leo use the bathroom, and did not hear him wash his hands. He came out and I asked him to go in and wash his hands. He asked
me how I knew that, and I told him to figure it out. He told me that I must have not heard the water faucet come on. He was so proud of
himself!
While he may not be happy with an event, he does understand that sometimes stuff happens by accident, that a friend may bump into him
or that Sydney may ruin a block tower. Leo is beginning to understand that people and animals are not always nice, that they sometimes do
bad things on purpose, or that they are just bad (good vs. evil).
Leo guessed that I was talking to his dad on the phone. When asked how he knew, he said “because you answered Hi Honey.”
Dream Team assessed Leo over a period of a couple weeks. We were then up and running with a direct instruction program, and
shadowing at daycare and camp (this was summer). Increased: Self-confidence, tolerance for a busy environment, initiation, less anxiety,
enjoyment of preferred and nonpreferred activities. Wide repertoire of skills keep him part of the group, does not stand out. Dream Team
developed an ideal scenario for Leo’s last preschool year. They looked at the environments, curriculum, style, teaching staff, and most
importantly peers. They decided that a combination of daycare and his current preschool would make an ideal social environment for his
final year. Goals: Self monitoring skills, monitoring others, interpreting various social situations, peer group entry skills, pragmatics,
perspective taking, abstract reasoning skills
Before this intervention, Leo could never play alone or with a peer without prompting and redirection. Leo now has a wide range of play
skills. He can have 5 conversation exchanges with a peer about something that is not his topic. Some of the programs Leo has mastered or
greatly improved upon; symbolic play, tell me about, tell me how to, topic towers, gross motor, same/different, senses, WH questions,
preferences, intentions, features, inferences, flexibility, barrier games, cause & effect, concepts, constructive play, desires, drawing,
emotional causality, fine motor, humor, verbal inhibition, knowing, role taking, sensory perspective taking, social judgement, listen to the
story, thinking, TOM, figure of speech.
Reduction or extermination of the following preservative behaviors: question forms, banging with hands, flicking with fingers, stamping with
feet (walking and running hard). Chanting made-up words. Banging and chanting at nite b4 bed, stuffing hands in mouth at any time,
especially when in transition or ‘shy’ in a novel situation. Staring at drains and toilets. Staring at wheels on cars. Mealtime sensory issues:
Over-stuffing, putting hands in mouth. Putting spoon over mouth and pressing hard. Eliminated fear of toilets.
Leo understands and appreciates that I do not know what happens at school, and that I am interested in hearing about it because I love him
and that it’s my job. He tells me about things that he knows I want to hear, like about who he played with, what kind of art he did, if he had a
special job, etc, with no prompting, He will just tell me about school because he likes to share that information, and he knows it’s what I want
to hear. He’s proud of himself, and likes to please me. Leo will tell me a story about what happened at the grocery store with Dad,
knowing that I wasn’t there. He knows what I like and do not like to talk about. He understands that people like to listen to and discuss
novel things, not stuff they already know about.
Recently Leo asked for a piece of gum. He knows Sydney isn’t aloud gum because she is too little. She came into the room while he was
chewing gum and I was eating a shrimp salad. Sydney immediately asked Leo what he was eating, and he replied "shrimp", and turned and
smiled at me. We both laughed, and then I cried.
I picked up Leo after school one day, and told him that we were not going home, that we were going to someplace that’s a surprise. He
pestered me for a few minutes, and was really excited about the prospect. He then turned to his 2 ½ yr old sister and said, "Leo, do you
know where we are going?". Since she heard me talking on the phone earlier, she said "We are going to Tim’s house!". He smiled at me
triumphantly, and then we both laughed.
I heard Leo use the bathroom, and did not hear him wash his hands. He came out and I asked him to go in and wash his hands. He asked
me how I knew that, and I told him to figure it out. He told me that I must have not heard the water faucet come on. He was so proud of
himself!
While he may not be happy with an event, he does understand that sometimes stuff happens by accident, that a friend may bump into him
or that Sydney may ruin a block tower. Leo is beginning to understand that people and animals are not always nice, that they sometimes do
bad things on purpose, or that they are just bad (good vs. evil).
Leo guessed that I was talking to his dad on the phone. When asked how he knew, he said “because you answered Hi Honey.”
June 2003 4 yrs 8 mos
Client: Leo Morgan Date of Birth: October 15, 1998
Age: 4 Years, 8 Months Date of Report: June 12, 2003
Submitted By: ABA Supervisor
NOTE: This is not the entire report, just the part about his current level of functioning:
Current Program
Leo’ program has focused on the development of play, social skills, social-cognitive skills, and executive functioning.
Play: Upon initiation of services, Leo had a very limited play repertoire, and virtually no elaborated constructive, pretend, or socio-dramatic
play. Leo is now able to participate in constructive (e.g.: block or other bulding materials) play, and to include minimal use of narration and
environmental sounds in his play. These are, however, emerging skills, and neither his constructions nor his narration is at the level of
sophistication demonstrated by his typically developing peers, and his play tends to be simplistic and/or perseverative. His ability to engage
in pretend and socio-dramatic play is also limited to a small number of brief scenarios.
Social Skills: Leo’s ability to respond to and make simple social initiations has improved remarkably over the past year. At this time,
independent functioning in this area is at or about 70%. Leo also demonstrates an emerging capacity to employ several alternative
strategies in order to gain entry into an on-going play activity. He continues to experience some difficulties with self-regulation, and has not
yet learned to discriminate between peer behaviors that are Okay or Not Okay to imitate in the classroom environment.
Social-Cognitive Skills (Theory of Mind): Leo continues to demonstrate marked deficits in the ability to understand that other people have
different information, sensory experiences, emotions, preferences and desires. He also experiences difficulty recognizing the social cues
that are indicative of these feelings in others. As indicated in the Yale report, he will require intensive training in the areas of cause and
effect, emotional causality, sensory perspective taking, preferences, desires, inference, and prediction.
Executive Functioning: The skills included in this area are those that allow one to plan and carry out more complex activities. Leo
demonstrates deficits most notably in flexibility of thought. He is not currently able to generate alternative outcomes, solutions, or
applications in order to predict and problem-solve.
Client: Leo Morgan Date of Birth: October 15, 1998
Age: 4 Years, 8 Months Date of Report: June 12, 2003
Submitted By: ABA Supervisor
NOTE: This is not the entire report, just the part about his current level of functioning:
Current Program
Leo’ program has focused on the development of play, social skills, social-cognitive skills, and executive functioning.
Play: Upon initiation of services, Leo had a very limited play repertoire, and virtually no elaborated constructive, pretend, or socio-dramatic
play. Leo is now able to participate in constructive (e.g.: block or other bulding materials) play, and to include minimal use of narration and
environmental sounds in his play. These are, however, emerging skills, and neither his constructions nor his narration is at the level of
sophistication demonstrated by his typically developing peers, and his play tends to be simplistic and/or perseverative. His ability to engage
in pretend and socio-dramatic play is also limited to a small number of brief scenarios.
Social Skills: Leo’s ability to respond to and make simple social initiations has improved remarkably over the past year. At this time,
independent functioning in this area is at or about 70%. Leo also demonstrates an emerging capacity to employ several alternative
strategies in order to gain entry into an on-going play activity. He continues to experience some difficulties with self-regulation, and has not
yet learned to discriminate between peer behaviors that are Okay or Not Okay to imitate in the classroom environment.
Social-Cognitive Skills (Theory of Mind): Leo continues to demonstrate marked deficits in the ability to understand that other people have
different information, sensory experiences, emotions, preferences and desires. He also experiences difficulty recognizing the social cues
that are indicative of these feelings in others. As indicated in the Yale report, he will require intensive training in the areas of cause and
effect, emotional causality, sensory perspective taking, preferences, desires, inference, and prediction.
Executive Functioning: The skills included in this area are those that allow one to plan and carry out more complex activities. Leo
demonstrates deficits most notably in flexibility of thought. He is not currently able to generate alternative outcomes, solutions, or
applications in order to predict and problem-solve.
Fall 2003 5 yrs
A surreal experience, the district gave us the hours we needed for Leo, no questions asked! Natch, they were blown away by our team’s
presentations, but please, WHEN does it ever make sense or it the right thing to do??
Program Highlights: Fine Motor, Conversation, Role-Taking and Socio-Dramatic Play, Social Judgment, Cause and Effect, Emotional Causality,
Perspective-Taking, Predictions and Inferences, Executive Functioning; Leo's progress has remained consistent across all environments. He
demonstrates increased independence in both social environments(preschool and day care); and has been able to successfully participate in an
ever-widening range of home and family-based activities as well.
Schedule: 5 hours a day of school, therapy before and after school each day, 2 play dates per week
December 8th 2003; (5yrs 2 mos) Inclings of impending lawsuit. Leo flourishing.
March 2004 (5yrs 5 mos); Lawsuit, fading services
A surreal experience, the district gave us the hours we needed for Leo, no questions asked! Natch, they were blown away by our team’s
presentations, but please, WHEN does it ever make sense or it the right thing to do??
Program Highlights: Fine Motor, Conversation, Role-Taking and Socio-Dramatic Play, Social Judgment, Cause and Effect, Emotional Causality,
Perspective-Taking, Predictions and Inferences, Executive Functioning; Leo's progress has remained consistent across all environments. He
demonstrates increased independence in both social environments(preschool and day care); and has been able to successfully participate in an
ever-widening range of home and family-based activities as well.
Schedule: 5 hours a day of school, therapy before and after school each day, 2 play dates per week
December 8th 2003; (5yrs 2 mos) Inclings of impending lawsuit. Leo flourishing.
March 2004 (5yrs 5 mos); Lawsuit, fading services
Finishing Services – Summer 2004:(5 yrs 9 mos)
He was deemed autism free that summer, June 22, 2004. Leo began school label and therapy free. He no longer needed a shadow or any other
services. We had our last IEP meeting where we closed his file right as school began. We were uncertain if we should have the OT monitor his fine
motor or not. We decided that it was too risky, to blow his anonymity, so in September we officially closed his IEP.
As a preschooler, Leo received all of his related services such as PT, OT, and SLP at this elementary school. In our district, this occurs when your
child doesn’t attend the special ed public preschool. These files were removed as well from each office. The therapists were delighted to do so,
and are now big believers that Autism is a treatable disability. Only the principal, the school psychologist, and the therapists know of Leo’s past.
His teacher, the parents, and Leo’s peers do not. This was a major coup, but we managed to pull it off. Lucky for us, there are so many kids (30%
at least) that get pulled out for delays and issues, that seeing Leo in speech as a preschooler didn’t raise suspicion.
Many of Leo’s friends continued to receive speech and OT in kindergarten and 1st grade, but he didn’t, the kid with the former major disability! Of
course, if something happens in the future, we can always open a new one – it’s Leo’s right by law. An issue is an issue.
He was deemed autism free that summer, June 22, 2004. Leo began school label and therapy free. He no longer needed a shadow or any other
services. We had our last IEP meeting where we closed his file right as school began. We were uncertain if we should have the OT monitor his fine
motor or not. We decided that it was too risky, to blow his anonymity, so in September we officially closed his IEP.
As a preschooler, Leo received all of his related services such as PT, OT, and SLP at this elementary school. In our district, this occurs when your
child doesn’t attend the special ed public preschool. These files were removed as well from each office. The therapists were delighted to do so,
and are now big believers that Autism is a treatable disability. Only the principal, the school psychologist, and the therapists know of Leo’s past.
His teacher, the parents, and Leo’s peers do not. This was a major coup, but we managed to pull it off. Lucky for us, there are so many kids (30%
at least) that get pulled out for delays and issues, that seeing Leo in speech as a preschooler didn’t raise suspicion.
Many of Leo’s friends continued to receive speech and OT in kindergarten and 1st grade, but he didn’t, the kid with the former major disability! Of
course, if something happens in the future, we can always open a new one – it’s Leo’s right by law. An issue is an issue.
Summer 2004 (5 yrs and 9 mos) Succeeded in getting full reimbursement plus attorney’s fees for ABA therapy for the school year. For the first time in 4
years, we were able to take a vacation longer than one week. Therapy kept these trips short. Leo monitored himself beautifully all summer long at camp
and on vacation. Each day he found different things to do, kept himself busy with his new downtime. In California, he handled his new environment
beautifully – really seeking out new people and new experiences. He had very little trouble with no longer seeing our extended family – his therapists.
We were sure to visit them occasionally and keep in contact to ease the transition for all of us.
years, we were able to take a vacation longer than one week. Therapy kept these trips short. Leo monitored himself beautifully all summer long at camp
and on vacation. Each day he found different things to do, kept himself busy with his new downtime. In California, he handled his new environment
beautifully – really seeking out new people and new experiences. He had very little trouble with no longer seeing our extended family – his therapists.
We were sure to visit them occasionally and keep in contact to ease the transition for all of us.
Fall 2004 - First Day of School Story (5 yrs 11 mos)
Began kindergarten, no services! Because of the way Leo presents, it has been possible to keep Leo’s label unknown to his peers and
their parents and friends. With the successful completion of ABA, Leo was able to enter kindergarten with no shadow or other obvious ABA
services. His classmates at the elementary school will have no reason to know of his disability or of the obstacles he has surmounted.
Without the stigma attached to an autism label, Leo should be able to be treated as an individual, not as a label.
That first day was a very exciting and nerve racking day for us parents. Leo was not nervous at all, and really looking forward to seeing the
kids he knew and being a big time kindergartner. My former arch-nemesis, Leo’s former favorite perseveration object, the school bus, now
picked him up like he’s been doing it all year. Leo got on, looked back and waved. Crazy! We videotaped the whole thing – from getting
dressed, to waffles, to backpack, to bus.
His little sister asked if she could bring her stuffed animal to the bus stop. Leo got very upset and said no. We asked him why he didn’t
want Sydney to bring her animal (not an unusual occurance), and he said “This is MY special day today, and I want her to concentrate on
ME, not on her stuffed animal”. And amazingly, she agreed to leave it at home. I love my kids! Unfortunately that morning we learned that
Leo’s grandfather had died the night before. We didn’t tell him of course, until later that afternoon when we had no choice.
We sat him down and told him what happened. He grew very solemn, and said my autistic son said “I knew you were going to say that”. I
had prefaced the news by reminding him of his grandfather’s age and how sick he’d been. Then he burst into tears. He said “Grandma
must really miss him, she must be really sad”. A few minutes later, my autistic son said “Big D didn’t even get to hear about Kindergarten.”
He then looked down at our new puppy, and said” And he didn’t even get to see Shawna”. We explained to him that he can see everything
from heaven, and that he’s sooohhh much happier now and is very proud of him. I quickly summarized in my head his responses to what
had happened, noting his perspective-taking, empathy, intent, and prediction within that exchange. I still have that therapy hat on I
suppose. Later, he looked forward to going to NYC to cheer Grandma up and spend the night.
With one month under our belt, I am living a surreal life. My new goals are to take better care of myself (the usual suspects like loose
weight, eat better, exercise regularly), and to focus a little more on my daughter – get her into more activities and get her some friends.
Leo continues to blossom. I am still nervous that one of the parents will find out about his “past”, and I continue to wonder about Leo’s
development. Will I ever be able to look at one of Leo’s play dates again without inspecting, casually quizzing the mother, asking myself if
Leo does has their skills, does this child do what my child does? What if they are all wrong? What if we made a grave horrendous error?
And we pay dearly later and have to start over? What will middle school be like? What will puberty be like? Will my life always be this way?
Began kindergarten, no services! Because of the way Leo presents, it has been possible to keep Leo’s label unknown to his peers and
their parents and friends. With the successful completion of ABA, Leo was able to enter kindergarten with no shadow or other obvious ABA
services. His classmates at the elementary school will have no reason to know of his disability or of the obstacles he has surmounted.
Without the stigma attached to an autism label, Leo should be able to be treated as an individual, not as a label.
That first day was a very exciting and nerve racking day for us parents. Leo was not nervous at all, and really looking forward to seeing the
kids he knew and being a big time kindergartner. My former arch-nemesis, Leo’s former favorite perseveration object, the school bus, now
picked him up like he’s been doing it all year. Leo got on, looked back and waved. Crazy! We videotaped the whole thing – from getting
dressed, to waffles, to backpack, to bus.
His little sister asked if she could bring her stuffed animal to the bus stop. Leo got very upset and said no. We asked him why he didn’t
want Sydney to bring her animal (not an unusual occurance), and he said “This is MY special day today, and I want her to concentrate on
ME, not on her stuffed animal”. And amazingly, she agreed to leave it at home. I love my kids! Unfortunately that morning we learned that
Leo’s grandfather had died the night before. We didn’t tell him of course, until later that afternoon when we had no choice.
We sat him down and told him what happened. He grew very solemn, and said my autistic son said “I knew you were going to say that”. I
had prefaced the news by reminding him of his grandfather’s age and how sick he’d been. Then he burst into tears. He said “Grandma
must really miss him, she must be really sad”. A few minutes later, my autistic son said “Big D didn’t even get to hear about Kindergarten.”
He then looked down at our new puppy, and said” And he didn’t even get to see Shawna”. We explained to him that he can see everything
from heaven, and that he’s sooohhh much happier now and is very proud of him. I quickly summarized in my head his responses to what
had happened, noting his perspective-taking, empathy, intent, and prediction within that exchange. I still have that therapy hat on I
suppose. Later, he looked forward to going to NYC to cheer Grandma up and spend the night.
With one month under our belt, I am living a surreal life. My new goals are to take better care of myself (the usual suspects like loose
weight, eat better, exercise regularly), and to focus a little more on my daughter – get her into more activities and get her some friends.
Leo continues to blossom. I am still nervous that one of the parents will find out about his “past”, and I continue to wonder about Leo’s
development. Will I ever be able to look at one of Leo’s play dates again without inspecting, casually quizzing the mother, asking myself if
Leo does has their skills, does this child do what my child does? What if they are all wrong? What if we made a grave horrendous error?
And we pay dearly later and have to start over? What will middle school be like? What will puberty be like? Will my life always be this way?
Kindergarten – Fall 2004 (6 yrs)
His teacher has 25 years experience of teaching, and never thought anything. In our parent-teacher conferences, she described him as very social,
outgoing, and very empathetic and good natured. No problems, other than he got too rowdy with his friends and talked a lot on occasion. Music to my
ears, the kid that couldn’t speak at the beginning. I obsessively inspected every piece of art on the walls in his classroom, comparing and looking for
anything, and I found nothing.
Leo’s kindergarten was half day, so it was a step back from what he was used to (he went to day care and preschool which made a full day). He was
exceptional academically, as many of our little smart guys are. He rode the bus every day, a feat I still can’t believe, when that type of stimulus would
cause him to blow a fuse in the old days. He played with almost every kid in class, and relayed each day to me what he did, what happened, reporting
the relevant information as he now knows how to do and appreciates.
Leo went to music, art, computer lab, and gym each week, looking forward to each special. He played beautifully and typically in every way on the
playground and other times when he required to monitor himself. He handled himself beautifully when required to go from center to center, to do a
project on his own, day after day.
Leo was always asked to have play dates with many different friends and his favorites.
Towards the end, the other mothers figured out that I always had good information about what went on in class, any incident, etc, so they’d call me to
find out. They were so impressed by my relationship with Leo, and his ability to share his day. They appreciated it! Many parents also commented on
how socially sophisticated he was – when they volunteered, they’d have full blown conversations with him, about the weather, sports, the weekend, a
holiday, whatever was going on. They were very impressed and would call me to tell me about him.
I’d obsess over watching the kids at birthday parties, and to my surprise the kids actually gravitated towards him, he was in the center of it all, after
years of being on the periphery.
I saw nothing unusual, other than his size. He’s still such a big kid, and we held him because he was a fall boy birthday (and secretly of course to finish
his services so we wouldn’t have to move).
Leo brought his own snack each day to eat, and many of the kids already knew about his special snack from preschool. They didn’t care, as many kids
did this. We said he has Celiac and a dairy intolerance. Everyone got that explanation!
Leo’s residual issues are health related. He must continue to be GFCF. Until there is a cure, his body needs help maintaining optimal GI and immune
health. He has mild low tone, mild hypersensitivity in his eyes. This issue keeps him from being a super athlete, something he could care less about!
His teacher has 25 years experience of teaching, and never thought anything. In our parent-teacher conferences, she described him as very social,
outgoing, and very empathetic and good natured. No problems, other than he got too rowdy with his friends and talked a lot on occasion. Music to my
ears, the kid that couldn’t speak at the beginning. I obsessively inspected every piece of art on the walls in his classroom, comparing and looking for
anything, and I found nothing.
Leo’s kindergarten was half day, so it was a step back from what he was used to (he went to day care and preschool which made a full day). He was
exceptional academically, as many of our little smart guys are. He rode the bus every day, a feat I still can’t believe, when that type of stimulus would
cause him to blow a fuse in the old days. He played with almost every kid in class, and relayed each day to me what he did, what happened, reporting
the relevant information as he now knows how to do and appreciates.
Leo went to music, art, computer lab, and gym each week, looking forward to each special. He played beautifully and typically in every way on the
playground and other times when he required to monitor himself. He handled himself beautifully when required to go from center to center, to do a
project on his own, day after day.
Leo was always asked to have play dates with many different friends and his favorites.
Towards the end, the other mothers figured out that I always had good information about what went on in class, any incident, etc, so they’d call me to
find out. They were so impressed by my relationship with Leo, and his ability to share his day. They appreciated it! Many parents also commented on
how socially sophisticated he was – when they volunteered, they’d have full blown conversations with him, about the weather, sports, the weekend, a
holiday, whatever was going on. They were very impressed and would call me to tell me about him.
I’d obsess over watching the kids at birthday parties, and to my surprise the kids actually gravitated towards him, he was in the center of it all, after
years of being on the periphery.
I saw nothing unusual, other than his size. He’s still such a big kid, and we held him because he was a fall boy birthday (and secretly of course to finish
his services so we wouldn’t have to move).
Leo brought his own snack each day to eat, and many of the kids already knew about his special snack from preschool. They didn’t care, as many kids
did this. We said he has Celiac and a dairy intolerance. Everyone got that explanation!
Leo’s residual issues are health related. He must continue to be GFCF. Until there is a cure, his body needs help maintaining optimal GI and immune
health. He has mild low tone, mild hypersensitivity in his eyes. This issue keeps him from being a super athlete, something he could care less about!
March '05 (6 yrs 5 mos)
Leo still continues to blossom. He has lots of friends and many interests. The other day he said, "Wouldn't it be cool if the ceiling was the floor,
and the floor was the ceiling? We could walk all around on the beams and cabinets." I still get misty when he comes up with really imaginative
things like that.
Summer'05 (6 yrs 8 mos)
Leo ended his year happily, and continued to play with his friends through summer at the local community pool, the park, and play dates. He
hardly noticed me around when he was with his friends. All he wanted to do was be with them. He had no problem going to a new “big kid”
nature camp, where he knew no one previously. He loved it, and quickly made new friends, and looked forward to it. Leo enjoyed family
vacations and having new experiences over the summer. He easily used his time wisely, occupying himself with stuff to do around the house,
outside in the woods, with his sister, his dog, whatever. A far cry from a kid who was terrified alone when I went to the bathroom as a toddler.
Leo still continues to blossom. He has lots of friends and many interests. The other day he said, "Wouldn't it be cool if the ceiling was the floor,
and the floor was the ceiling? We could walk all around on the beams and cabinets." I still get misty when he comes up with really imaginative
things like that.
Summer'05 (6 yrs 8 mos)
Leo ended his year happily, and continued to play with his friends through summer at the local community pool, the park, and play dates. He
hardly noticed me around when he was with his friends. All he wanted to do was be with them. He had no problem going to a new “big kid”
nature camp, where he knew no one previously. He loved it, and quickly made new friends, and looked forward to it. Leo enjoyed family
vacations and having new experiences over the summer. He easily used his time wisely, occupying himself with stuff to do around the house,
outside in the woods, with his sister, his dog, whatever. A far cry from a kid who was terrified alone when I went to the bathroom as a toddler.
First Grade – Fall 2005
August 30, 2005 (6 yrs 10 mos) – copy of email to my family: I am happy to report that Leo had his 1st day of first grade yesterday! He loved
the day, and immediately told me that he
was really tired. He likes Mrs. X, and liked seeing familiar faces from last year, soccer, and prek, and meeting new kids. It's a really great
group - 12 boys and 8 girls,
all really great, and I know most of them already. Only one dud mom so far!
He really likes a boy Charlie that sits next to him. The cafeteria was a new thing, which he said he liked even though lunch was short. He ate
almost all of his sandwich which made mom very happy. He said "I hardly talked to anyone so I could focus, mom". His favorite part of the day
was that they had recess "TWO TIMES, Mom" on the big kid
playground. He also got to play with his best friend and a new boy at recess. Each day they have a special, and yesterday was library. I think
today is gym, Leo's favorite, with Mr. Y.
As the date was approaching, I was totally fine with the idea that he'd be gone ALL day, since kindergarten was half-day. And I was really
looking forward to a structured day again. School is from 9a-3:45p, and there is a half hour on each side for the bus ride.
That's a full day!
I kept waiting to feel sad about it, but it never happened until the night before! I was pretty nervous - mainly about Leo getting his snacks AND
at the right time.
I was very proud of Leo, because he remembered to have his snack at 10am, and told his teacher. She apparently hadn't read the note from
that morning, and he explained that he had "hyperguycemic". She got the idea and found the note. He is such a good boy!
Also like last year, I had a hard time with really not knowing every single detail about his day. I am lucky that Leo really does give me lots of
stories and information, so I do get a feel, but it's not the same as when he had a shadow with him at school and I had a full
page of notes to look at. I still can't believe we are where we are, he goes to school all day with no support, and he's totally flourishing.
Especially when I see other kids walking around school with aides and I think that was us just over a year ago.
I've never been good with transitions - I've been a bit sad, but Leo is happy which is the better news. And Sydney has been a bit needy and
misses Leo a lot. This has changed our relationship a bit too - just us girls during the day. She starts school after
labor day, but it's just afternoons.
Just wanted to share the good news with everyone. Very exciting!
Thanks for listening, Ashley
November 2005 (7 yrs 1 month)
Everything continues to be going well in school. Leo’s energy is back after getting used to his big long week days, and
now we have occasional after school activities – a play date with kindergarten friends, Tae Kwon Do, or just riding bikes
with his sister before dinner.
We had our first “incident” with a boy that was picking on him (bound to happen to any gentle kid I suppose). He handled
it beautifully – told me what happened (the kid tried to trip him in class a few days in a row). He didn’t want me to make a
“big deal “ about it, and didn’t want the other kid to get in trouble. I think he regretted telling me. We let Leo handle it,
and he did. He was very firm with the kid and it hasn’t been an issue. All very appropriate – not wanting to be
embarrassed by his mom, etc. More music to my ears. I also liked his judgement on how to handle the situation, and
how he still had empathy for this bully of a kid that bothered him. I look forward to the next parent/teacher conference.
His teacher says he’s doing great, a smart kid, and a very easy going kid.
Also there's a little boy in Leo's class named Patrick. Patrick also has Down Syndrome, just like a cousin of Leo’s. Leo
talks about him a lot since he's a boy he already knew, from a visit to our vet ironically, and today Leo and Patrick were
line leaders to and from the cafeteria. Adorable! And the best part is that Leo doesn't differentiate between Patrick and
any other kid. He did mention in another conversation that there is another grownup in class that helps Patrick
sometimes.
Leo’s teacher initiated a conversation about Patrick and Leo. She mentioned how exceptional Leo is with him – patient,
tolerant, and how Patrick relies on Leo. She said Patrick let Leo hold his hand down the hall going to lunch – a first, not
holding an adult’s hand which was their goal the previous year. Patrick’s aide pretty much said the same thing about
Leo, how kind he is to Patrick. Now, if only the rest of the world were like Leo.
And How About Mom?
Stress for me is leading a double life, and not being honest with many people I am close to. And I do still have post-
traumatic stress issues. Autism will always affect me as what I know about the world has been dramatically altered. And
as you can see, I haven't turned my back on autism. I could, and most people do. I find the best parents, most honest
people in autism. It's great to be "all" of me with them, and autism makes people honest, which is like a breath of fresh
air to me.
Last nite, my husband and I went out to a local pizza/pasta restaraunt. We hadn't been there in about 6 years, before
Leo was dx. It really impacted me to sit there, in my own town I know so well, and see people eating wheat and dairy,
food that is so exotic to me. I began to think about how we probably would have ordered a pie each week from this place,
and our kids would have known the staff there if autism wasn't a part of
our world. They of course know the HFS in this way, ha ha. We rarely go out, and we've never been away from the kids
by ourselves (we have no family to help out), so this was a rare event.
Top of mind is that most kids in our autism support group have ongoing services. There are two that
have reached recovery status, 2 in the hopper, the rest are all in intensive programs, in school, etc. There are a few that
are pretty severe as well.
I understand what some parents mean about "making peace". I can NEVER make peace. I think there is a distinction
between acceptance and doing everything you can possibly do, leaving no stone unturned, to maximize the potential of
our kids.
I take each child with Autism personally, my love for these children and the INJUSTICE of the state of these things keep
me typing away, going to groups to talk to new parents. Some days I feel like putting the site down and walking away. It
varies day by day, just like a child with Autism.
Everything continues to be going well in school. Leo’s energy is back after getting used to his big long week days, and
now we have occasional after school activities – a play date with kindergarten friends, Tae Kwon Do, or just riding bikes
with his sister before dinner.
We had our first “incident” with a boy that was picking on him (bound to happen to any gentle kid I suppose). He handled
it beautifully – told me what happened (the kid tried to trip him in class a few days in a row). He didn’t want me to make a
“big deal “ about it, and didn’t want the other kid to get in trouble. I think he regretted telling me. We let Leo handle it,
and he did. He was very firm with the kid and it hasn’t been an issue. All very appropriate – not wanting to be
embarrassed by his mom, etc. More music to my ears. I also liked his judgement on how to handle the situation, and
how he still had empathy for this bully of a kid that bothered him. I look forward to the next parent/teacher conference.
His teacher says he’s doing great, a smart kid, and a very easy going kid.
Also there's a little boy in Leo's class named Patrick. Patrick also has Down Syndrome, just like a cousin of Leo’s. Leo
talks about him a lot since he's a boy he already knew, from a visit to our vet ironically, and today Leo and Patrick were
line leaders to and from the cafeteria. Adorable! And the best part is that Leo doesn't differentiate between Patrick and
any other kid. He did mention in another conversation that there is another grownup in class that helps Patrick
sometimes.
Leo’s teacher initiated a conversation about Patrick and Leo. She mentioned how exceptional Leo is with him – patient,
tolerant, and how Patrick relies on Leo. She said Patrick let Leo hold his hand down the hall going to lunch – a first, not
holding an adult’s hand which was their goal the previous year. Patrick’s aide pretty much said the same thing about
Leo, how kind he is to Patrick. Now, if only the rest of the world were like Leo.
And How About Mom?
Stress for me is leading a double life, and not being honest with many people I am close to. And I do still have post-
traumatic stress issues. Autism will always affect me as what I know about the world has been dramatically altered. And
as you can see, I haven't turned my back on autism. I could, and most people do. I find the best parents, most honest
people in autism. It's great to be "all" of me with them, and autism makes people honest, which is like a breath of fresh
air to me.
Last nite, my husband and I went out to a local pizza/pasta restaraunt. We hadn't been there in about 6 years, before
Leo was dx. It really impacted me to sit there, in my own town I know so well, and see people eating wheat and dairy,
food that is so exotic to me. I began to think about how we probably would have ordered a pie each week from this place,
and our kids would have known the staff there if autism wasn't a part of
our world. They of course know the HFS in this way, ha ha. We rarely go out, and we've never been away from the kids
by ourselves (we have no family to help out), so this was a rare event.
Top of mind is that most kids in our autism support group have ongoing services. There are two that
have reached recovery status, 2 in the hopper, the rest are all in intensive programs, in school, etc. There are a few that
are pretty severe as well.
I understand what some parents mean about "making peace". I can NEVER make peace. I think there is a distinction
between acceptance and doing everything you can possibly do, leaving no stone unturned, to maximize the potential of
our kids.
I take each child with Autism personally, my love for these children and the INJUSTICE of the state of these things keep
me typing away, going to groups to talk to new parents. Some days I feel like putting the site down and walking away. It
varies day by day, just like a child with Autism.
January 27th 2006 (7 yrs 3 mos)
Just last week, Leo told me a story about a boy that has been bugging him on the bus (and he's in his class). For months, Leo has handled
the situation beautifully – ignoring the attention-seeking behavior, and sometimes shooting back an occasional 1st grade-speak such as
“so”, “who cares”, and “whatever”. This kid has his own share of problems – that’s life. Anyway, he said, "Hey Mom, I think Charlie likes me
again". I said, "really, and why do you think that?" Leo said, "I was drawing in art center today, and my paper was too big for my space.
Charlie noticed, and moved some books out of the way. Later, he smiled at me for no reason". He’s also drawn the parallel between his
sister’s attention seeking behavior (like standing in front of the TV) and his classmates. He’s wise beyond his years in so many ways.
The other day at Leo’s weekly Tae Kwon Do class (red belt now), his instructor challenged the class to think “out of the box” to achieve a
goal. While jumping as high as they could, she told the students to touch the ceiling. They all looked pretty puzzled. She said, “No really,
touch the ceiling.” Off the kids went, trying to find a way to touch the ceiling. Some kids just stood there, really confused. Leo was first to
figure it out – he found a stool and placed it next to the wall and stood on top to touch it.
Leo gets in the car and says he met some new kids today at recess. I said, “really – you didn’t play with Anthony or Clark today like usual?”
He said Anthony was inside for recess today for some reason, and that he “didn’t feel like” playing with Clark. He saw some kids playing
football, his latest interest. He said he started talking to them in line after lunch, because he and one of the boys had jerseys on. He joined
in and had a good time. He even challenged the boys on which team should go first (pretending they were in Pittsburgh, so the Steelers
should go first). They all agreed with Leo. He thought they argued about what to do more than actually play. He thought that was
interesting.
We watched E.T., the movie, during a snow storm. I wasn’t sure if they were too young, I didn’t know if they’d really get it. Leo was rivoted. I
explained a lot, background stuff about aliens and the scientists, what they were doing in the first place. Leo was upset that Elliot’s mom
didn’t believe him. He was upset at the scientists attempting to “get” E.T. He got how E.T. wanted to go home, he and Elliot’s friendship.
Not at an adult level, but Leo got the conflict between E.T.’s friendship with the kids and his desire to be home with family. Talk about
empathy!
Just last week, Leo told me a story about a boy that has been bugging him on the bus (and he's in his class). For months, Leo has handled
the situation beautifully – ignoring the attention-seeking behavior, and sometimes shooting back an occasional 1st grade-speak such as
“so”, “who cares”, and “whatever”. This kid has his own share of problems – that’s life. Anyway, he said, "Hey Mom, I think Charlie likes me
again". I said, "really, and why do you think that?" Leo said, "I was drawing in art center today, and my paper was too big for my space.
Charlie noticed, and moved some books out of the way. Later, he smiled at me for no reason". He’s also drawn the parallel between his
sister’s attention seeking behavior (like standing in front of the TV) and his classmates. He’s wise beyond his years in so many ways.
The other day at Leo’s weekly Tae Kwon Do class (red belt now), his instructor challenged the class to think “out of the box” to achieve a
goal. While jumping as high as they could, she told the students to touch the ceiling. They all looked pretty puzzled. She said, “No really,
touch the ceiling.” Off the kids went, trying to find a way to touch the ceiling. Some kids just stood there, really confused. Leo was first to
figure it out – he found a stool and placed it next to the wall and stood on top to touch it.
Leo gets in the car and says he met some new kids today at recess. I said, “really – you didn’t play with Anthony or Clark today like usual?”
He said Anthony was inside for recess today for some reason, and that he “didn’t feel like” playing with Clark. He saw some kids playing
football, his latest interest. He said he started talking to them in line after lunch, because he and one of the boys had jerseys on. He joined
in and had a good time. He even challenged the boys on which team should go first (pretending they were in Pittsburgh, so the Steelers
should go first). They all agreed with Leo. He thought they argued about what to do more than actually play. He thought that was
interesting.
We watched E.T., the movie, during a snow storm. I wasn’t sure if they were too young, I didn’t know if they’d really get it. Leo was rivoted. I
explained a lot, background stuff about aliens and the scientists, what they were doing in the first place. Leo was upset that Elliot’s mom
didn’t believe him. He was upset at the scientists attempting to “get” E.T. He got how E.T. wanted to go home, he and Elliot’s friendship.
Not at an adult level, but Leo got the conflict between E.T.’s friendship with the kids and his desire to be home with family. Talk about
empathy!
Captain’s Log, Stardate, June 22th, 2006 ( 7 yrs 8 mos). Today is Thursday, the last day of Leo’s time in 1st grade. It also marks the 2nd
anniversary of ending services. I no longer have my 1st grader, but a kid ready for a fun summer. Our uncharted course through typical
childhood continues uninterrupted. It was a terrific year! Now, tell that to my anxious brain at 2am... Each day that has gone by has been a gift.
A gift that keeps on giving as I look at him in the middle of the night and think about what a charmed happy life he has. What a big boy he’s
become.
Leo was VERY sad that school had to end. He LOVES his teacher, and loves his routine at school (yeah, you’re surprised to read that... a kid on
the spectrum that likes structure? No! ha ha)
In the bath the night before, he was beside himself with grief. He said that day was just the” WORST DAY OF SCHOOL EVER!” I said all the right
things all parents say, that never seem to work. Why do we say them? I have no idea. It made me feel better saying them.
Leo said he wanted to have 1st grade all over again with the same teacher again, “like the life cycle of a butterfly, Mom. I want to be little again and
have my same teacher over again for Kindergarten and 1st grade”. Pretty cute. I thought about how Leo really IS in a life cycle, just much longer
than a larva to butterfly! And that I’m in it too.
Leo held it together all day. He really understood that it was really over, versus for other kids it doesn’t sink in until they’ve been home for a few
days. He said everyone was sad but no one, including him, cried. I couldn’t believe he DIDN”T after the display the night before. Leo said he
started to get the “funny feeling” in his nose on the bus while driving away from the school, but managed to keep it together. After he got off the
bus, he ran over to me and started crying. It was adorable and I felt for him.
But before all of that, let’s catch up:
Winter was fairly uneventful – Leo did really well on his first ever long-term study. The unit lasted 2 months, and it incorporated reading,
researching, writing, math, and science. The kids really liked the topic and motivated them to practice their new skills without really knowing it.
The earlier growing pains for both of us, Leo and me, worked themselves out. The two kids Leo had issues with (the bus kid and the kid in class)
was handled and today he is friends with both boys. I realized kids try to figure out where they stand in their new social situation at school, just like
us adults at a new job. They all jockey for position, they all want to be liked, many look for weakness as a way to be strong themselves, they all
have so much to figure out, they all have issues to work on.
For the first time, I realized how I wasn’t part of Leo’s daily school life. I had very little impact directly. Everything had to come from Leo. For the
first time, I couldn’t orchestrate Leo’s choice in friends or how he’d spend his free time. All I had were the years before us, all of those talks, all of
the lessons – parent to child, to draw upon for reference. Fortunately, Leo’s trust and open way maintained throughout the year. I had many
‘Academy Award Winning’ performances after learning about Leo’s trouble with those 2 boys - stuff I hadn’t had to deal with yet as a parent since
he’s my first.
We made a deal, Leo and me. If there was a problem, I promised that it would be up to HIM on how to handle the problem initially. I’d present all of
the possible solutions and he’d have the final say about what to do first. If THAT didn’t work, then we’d try it my way. Fortunately, in both of Leo’s
situations, his solutions worked.
The first problem: A boy in class was trying to trip him in class when the teacher was conferencing one-to-one with another student (sneaky). Leo
decided to confront him directly the next time the boy tried it. Leo asserted himself and told him to basically cut it out, and that was the end of it.
He was very proud of himself – he handled his problem himself. Very empowering!
The second situation: Our neighbor kid has some problems that haven’t been dealt with. Basically he’s a wild kid with untreated behavioral
problems. The parents are pretty clueless about it so far, so there isn’t much I can do AND he’s a neighbor. My hands are tied for now.
Leo was really turned off by his behavior and as a result he didn’t want to play with him outside of school. Leo isn’t a “boy’s boy” like this kid, and
his interests and play style was too way over the top for Leo. Frustrated, this kid didn’t like the rejection and started saying “mean” things to Leo
on the bus as a result (I don’t like you, you have a small brain, I wish you didn’t ride this bus, etc). It was SOOHHH hard for me to hear all of this,
and I had to hear it NOT from Leo but from another kid’s mom on the bus. Leo confirmed it, really more interested in how I knew than than the
incident itself. (talk about theory of mind....)We talked about the many possible ways to handle it. We both were so grown up about it!
Wide-eyed, Leo was very interested in all of the possible ways to handle this kid on the bus. I could talk to the parent. I could talk to the bus
driver. I could tell the principal. I could talk to the boy. Leo could ignore the behavior, taking away any power the kid has, showing the kid that the
words don’t work.
Leo chose to ignore the behavior. Even though it killed me to know that the boy was STILL talking trash on the bus, I wanted Leo to believe I had
his back and that I believed in him. This eventually worked. It was a looonnnnggg couple of weeks. Every few days Leo would fill me in on if the
neighbor kid was still “saying stuff”. This eventually worked, the kid lost interest. Phew! Leo even compared the bus behavior by this kid to his
sister. Sydney will stand in front of the T.V. to get his attention (ahhh....those negative attention seeking behaviors....Leo’s quite the behaviorist).
Here are a few spring highlights:
After listening to some music (something from my Alternative collection, maybe Coldplay?), Sydney asked what some of the lyrics meant. It was
above both their heads, but Leo answered anyway “he’s singing to his girlfriend Syd”. He was able to figure that out based on the mood, tone,
everything that happens in a song except the actual words.
On vacation at a beach resort, Leo listened to music coming from the day spa. He said the music made him feel relaxed and happy. He said that’s
probably why they have that kind of music while people get massages.
Leo made a friend on that same resort vacation. He began playing basketball with a boy his age (not younger, thus less intimidating, like in the old
days). They played together in the pool, swimming around and playing catch. By the end of the few days together, they had their own inside
jokes.
To my utter amazement, Leo began to take a huge interest in team sports. I think I’ve mentioned football before. Baseball and hockey is also on
the list. He no longer winces at the ball coming at him, and he actually has a good spiral when throwing the football. From a kid that spent years
practicing with a ball on the pulley. He also loves watching the game and enjoys collecting football cards. He eagerly awaits for his Sports
Illustrated Kids Magazine to come in the mail.
Is he obsessed with football? YES. Is it in the perseveration way? On occasion. About once a month I’ll have to tell him to stop talking about or
playing football for a day, that it’s interfering with other activities. Mostly he’s like any other kid that’s obsessed with sports, but for me it’s
uncomfortable because I’m always thinking of it in the worst light, with my skeptical “ready to bust him” glasses on. I don’t like it when either one of
my kids has a strong interest! Poor kids! It just makes me nervous – my baggage after all this I suppose. But hey, from a kid that stimmed all day
on inappropriate activities to a kid that plays well with football, I can’t complain!
For the first time, Leo thinks of the future and wants to be a pro football player when he grows up. His imagination conjures up a very detailed
successful life as a superstar.
Leo made up a game to play at recess. It’s a video game, where all of the kids are in one on the field. They run around and shoot bad guys for
points. They got all the way up to level 17. He orchestrated the whole thing and the other kids look to him for direction.
Leo has been playing for weeks with a kid and doesn’t know his name. This, from a kid where names used to be ALL that mattered.
As Leo and Sydney have gotten older, the more they seem to be in “kahutz” with each other, plotting against me, sometimes for “bad’ things like
not brushing their teeth, ways to stay up later at night. Other times it’s for Mother’s Day. Very cute!
Leo wasn’t the worst player for spring soccer. He was right in the middle. I was so happy to see that, especially since he likes it so much. And he
loves watching and rooting for teams during this World Cup. He doesn’t hesitate to get into the middle of things, and rarely flinches his eyes. I
never thought he’d ever play on a team.
I watched Leo in awe at a swimming pool birthday party. After years of aquatic OT to get past his fear and sensory issues with water, he was right
in the middle of a splash fight with his fellow 1st graders. After that, he successfully had fun doing a sack race AND did wheelbarrows with other
kids. He actually let another kid hold on to his ankles. From a kid that couldn’t get past 3 “steps” with his hands for 6 months. At the end, they had
a water balloon toss – here Leo was catching and throwing wonderfully like a 1st grader and laughing when the balloon popped and got him all
wet. (the unpredictability of that stimuli, the “in your face” activity). The catching and throwing. Pretty incredible day.
I reminded him later about all his hard work, the swim classes he dreaded and stayed up all night the night before, all the extra “practice” as we
called it, with OT, and PT. That because of all his hard work, he now can have fun. He has choices! That if he hadn’t done all this work, he would’
ve told me he didn’t want to go to this party and he never would’ve had such a fun day like this.
He now has playdates with the kid that tried to trip him in class at the beginning of the year. Of course, I’m still secretly mad at the kid, but I’m the
mom so it’s okay.... ha ha
What are Leo’s residual issues?
Leo is different, and will always be so, until there is a cure. Do I really want Leo cured? Well, I don't really know. He's a happy boy with many
choices. If that changes in Leo's future, if his disability impairs him in the FUTURE, I'd opt for a cure. It's all that I ever really wanted, for Leo to be
happy. His happiness was my fuel to getting him the help he needed.
For now, we are happy he no longer needs therapy. Like most of our kids, Leo's GI and immune systems are different and don't function properly
on their own, so on the Biomedical side of therapy, we continue to be GFCF and we give him enzymes and allergy treatments like Bioset. Would I
enjoy not being Betty Crocker GFCF Organic Momma? Yes suree bob. I'd love sending him off to school where he could eat cafeteria food and
eat at other people's homes and restaraunts.
What about behaviors? School? Social situations?
Self monitoring, specifically, exercising self control is still challenging for Leo. This goes under the category of Executive Functioning. A perfect
example of how Leo is wired differently on the inside, in his brain. Internal organization that comes naturally to us had to be learned by Leo.
This issue doesn’t stand out over the other 3 boys that also have this same issue, or really any 1st grade typical behavior. But I know the reason
for why it’s challenging for him. It’s not immaturity or acting out. Specifically, he’ll talk out of turn, not being able to help himself and answer the
question when he’s not called on. He’ll finish the teacher’s sentences. We all do this in our heads, we know where something is going, we know
what the answers are sometimes, but for Leo, he sometimes can’t keep it in his head. He’ll “call out” once or twice a day out of turn. Again, not that
he’s the only one doing it, but it’s not immaturity or not listening on purpose. Leo’s got to actively keep aware of his thoughts and what he’s doing.
The good news is that he doesn’t stand out and he’s getting so much better at monitoring himself.
How does this play out on his performance at school? Just dandy. On his report card, he got an “S” for Some Progress Noted, further
development expected for “Exercises Self Control” . “P” for Progressing Well is the best mark. And as always, there’s an “H”, for Needs More Help
and Time. Leo only got three “S’s” out of 50 marks. And no H marks! What? I know, pretty incredible.
The other S marks were under Evaluates Own Work Accurately and under Follows Directions. Both fall under Executive Functioning. And again,
they aren’t H marks, only S! He’s gotten better over this year, and I know he’ll improve even more over time as he matures.
How about those “P’s”?? All “P”s for the rest of 50 categories. He listens attentively, he shows persistence and stays on task to completion, seeks
help, organizes works and materials (you’ve got to be kidding me here, I still can’t get over this one). Demonstrates respect, responsibility, accepts
suggestions, amazing! Natch, reading, and math are okie dokie. Even writing is strong! He can write stories with a beginning, middle, and end. He’
s actually one of the strongest story writers in class! He self corrects when reading. His handwriting is strong. Boy, for a kid that could barely hold
a pencil let alone make a mark on paper, it’s pretty crazy.
Do I have the Voo-Doo Magic??
NO, silly. Because my son has reached recovery status, other parents often think I have tried harder or have some magic formula. Not true! I
could give you a long list of parents that are way better parents than me that DON'T have our outcome. Luck, talented staff, and the ability for me
to be at home to focus soley on Leo's intervention got us very far.
Out of the box, Leo had some good skills - he was high functioning, so we didn't have "as far" to go as some kids. Ironically, many kids I know have
made greater strides than Leo, but because they started out with more issues, they are not as high functioning as Leo today.
Leo continues to lead a discrimination-free life and is judged as an individual, like ALL children should be. We continue to keep the bar high for
Leo, along with his 5 year old sister. I think they can do anything! That bar helped him succeed and fly through his programs when he was little
and continues to keep him motivated and confident as a happy 7 ½ year old.
Cure? Who cares. Recovery? Whatever! Let's not get hung up on words. Let's get hung up on the fact that autism is a treatable disorder.
Maximizing the human potential is the brass ring my friends. Leo was lucky, like many others, regardless of outcome. He got what he needed, like
every child, autism or not, should. Leo is just as lucky as the non-verbal kid that got a beautiful, fully funded program, executed by a state of the
art talented staff.
anniversary of ending services. I no longer have my 1st grader, but a kid ready for a fun summer. Our uncharted course through typical
childhood continues uninterrupted. It was a terrific year! Now, tell that to my anxious brain at 2am... Each day that has gone by has been a gift.
A gift that keeps on giving as I look at him in the middle of the night and think about what a charmed happy life he has. What a big boy he’s
become.
Leo was VERY sad that school had to end. He LOVES his teacher, and loves his routine at school (yeah, you’re surprised to read that... a kid on
the spectrum that likes structure? No! ha ha)
In the bath the night before, he was beside himself with grief. He said that day was just the” WORST DAY OF SCHOOL EVER!” I said all the right
things all parents say, that never seem to work. Why do we say them? I have no idea. It made me feel better saying them.
Leo said he wanted to have 1st grade all over again with the same teacher again, “like the life cycle of a butterfly, Mom. I want to be little again and
have my same teacher over again for Kindergarten and 1st grade”. Pretty cute. I thought about how Leo really IS in a life cycle, just much longer
than a larva to butterfly! And that I’m in it too.
Leo held it together all day. He really understood that it was really over, versus for other kids it doesn’t sink in until they’ve been home for a few
days. He said everyone was sad but no one, including him, cried. I couldn’t believe he DIDN”T after the display the night before. Leo said he
started to get the “funny feeling” in his nose on the bus while driving away from the school, but managed to keep it together. After he got off the
bus, he ran over to me and started crying. It was adorable and I felt for him.
But before all of that, let’s catch up:
Winter was fairly uneventful – Leo did really well on his first ever long-term study. The unit lasted 2 months, and it incorporated reading,
researching, writing, math, and science. The kids really liked the topic and motivated them to practice their new skills without really knowing it.
The earlier growing pains for both of us, Leo and me, worked themselves out. The two kids Leo had issues with (the bus kid and the kid in class)
was handled and today he is friends with both boys. I realized kids try to figure out where they stand in their new social situation at school, just like
us adults at a new job. They all jockey for position, they all want to be liked, many look for weakness as a way to be strong themselves, they all
have so much to figure out, they all have issues to work on.
For the first time, I realized how I wasn’t part of Leo’s daily school life. I had very little impact directly. Everything had to come from Leo. For the
first time, I couldn’t orchestrate Leo’s choice in friends or how he’d spend his free time. All I had were the years before us, all of those talks, all of
the lessons – parent to child, to draw upon for reference. Fortunately, Leo’s trust and open way maintained throughout the year. I had many
‘Academy Award Winning’ performances after learning about Leo’s trouble with those 2 boys - stuff I hadn’t had to deal with yet as a parent since
he’s my first.
We made a deal, Leo and me. If there was a problem, I promised that it would be up to HIM on how to handle the problem initially. I’d present all of
the possible solutions and he’d have the final say about what to do first. If THAT didn’t work, then we’d try it my way. Fortunately, in both of Leo’s
situations, his solutions worked.
The first problem: A boy in class was trying to trip him in class when the teacher was conferencing one-to-one with another student (sneaky). Leo
decided to confront him directly the next time the boy tried it. Leo asserted himself and told him to basically cut it out, and that was the end of it.
He was very proud of himself – he handled his problem himself. Very empowering!
The second situation: Our neighbor kid has some problems that haven’t been dealt with. Basically he’s a wild kid with untreated behavioral
problems. The parents are pretty clueless about it so far, so there isn’t much I can do AND he’s a neighbor. My hands are tied for now.
Leo was really turned off by his behavior and as a result he didn’t want to play with him outside of school. Leo isn’t a “boy’s boy” like this kid, and
his interests and play style was too way over the top for Leo. Frustrated, this kid didn’t like the rejection and started saying “mean” things to Leo
on the bus as a result (I don’t like you, you have a small brain, I wish you didn’t ride this bus, etc). It was SOOHHH hard for me to hear all of this,
and I had to hear it NOT from Leo but from another kid’s mom on the bus. Leo confirmed it, really more interested in how I knew than than the
incident itself. (talk about theory of mind....)We talked about the many possible ways to handle it. We both were so grown up about it!
Wide-eyed, Leo was very interested in all of the possible ways to handle this kid on the bus. I could talk to the parent. I could talk to the bus
driver. I could tell the principal. I could talk to the boy. Leo could ignore the behavior, taking away any power the kid has, showing the kid that the
words don’t work.
Leo chose to ignore the behavior. Even though it killed me to know that the boy was STILL talking trash on the bus, I wanted Leo to believe I had
his back and that I believed in him. This eventually worked. It was a looonnnnggg couple of weeks. Every few days Leo would fill me in on if the
neighbor kid was still “saying stuff”. This eventually worked, the kid lost interest. Phew! Leo even compared the bus behavior by this kid to his
sister. Sydney will stand in front of the T.V. to get his attention (ahhh....those negative attention seeking behaviors....Leo’s quite the behaviorist).
Here are a few spring highlights:
After listening to some music (something from my Alternative collection, maybe Coldplay?), Sydney asked what some of the lyrics meant. It was
above both their heads, but Leo answered anyway “he’s singing to his girlfriend Syd”. He was able to figure that out based on the mood, tone,
everything that happens in a song except the actual words.
On vacation at a beach resort, Leo listened to music coming from the day spa. He said the music made him feel relaxed and happy. He said that’s
probably why they have that kind of music while people get massages.
Leo made a friend on that same resort vacation. He began playing basketball with a boy his age (not younger, thus less intimidating, like in the old
days). They played together in the pool, swimming around and playing catch. By the end of the few days together, they had their own inside
jokes.
To my utter amazement, Leo began to take a huge interest in team sports. I think I’ve mentioned football before. Baseball and hockey is also on
the list. He no longer winces at the ball coming at him, and he actually has a good spiral when throwing the football. From a kid that spent years
practicing with a ball on the pulley. He also loves watching the game and enjoys collecting football cards. He eagerly awaits for his Sports
Illustrated Kids Magazine to come in the mail.
Is he obsessed with football? YES. Is it in the perseveration way? On occasion. About once a month I’ll have to tell him to stop talking about or
playing football for a day, that it’s interfering with other activities. Mostly he’s like any other kid that’s obsessed with sports, but for me it’s
uncomfortable because I’m always thinking of it in the worst light, with my skeptical “ready to bust him” glasses on. I don’t like it when either one of
my kids has a strong interest! Poor kids! It just makes me nervous – my baggage after all this I suppose. But hey, from a kid that stimmed all day
on inappropriate activities to a kid that plays well with football, I can’t complain!
For the first time, Leo thinks of the future and wants to be a pro football player when he grows up. His imagination conjures up a very detailed
successful life as a superstar.
Leo made up a game to play at recess. It’s a video game, where all of the kids are in one on the field. They run around and shoot bad guys for
points. They got all the way up to level 17. He orchestrated the whole thing and the other kids look to him for direction.
Leo has been playing for weeks with a kid and doesn’t know his name. This, from a kid where names used to be ALL that mattered.
As Leo and Sydney have gotten older, the more they seem to be in “kahutz” with each other, plotting against me, sometimes for “bad’ things like
not brushing their teeth, ways to stay up later at night. Other times it’s for Mother’s Day. Very cute!
Leo wasn’t the worst player for spring soccer. He was right in the middle. I was so happy to see that, especially since he likes it so much. And he
loves watching and rooting for teams during this World Cup. He doesn’t hesitate to get into the middle of things, and rarely flinches his eyes. I
never thought he’d ever play on a team.
I watched Leo in awe at a swimming pool birthday party. After years of aquatic OT to get past his fear and sensory issues with water, he was right
in the middle of a splash fight with his fellow 1st graders. After that, he successfully had fun doing a sack race AND did wheelbarrows with other
kids. He actually let another kid hold on to his ankles. From a kid that couldn’t get past 3 “steps” with his hands for 6 months. At the end, they had
a water balloon toss – here Leo was catching and throwing wonderfully like a 1st grader and laughing when the balloon popped and got him all
wet. (the unpredictability of that stimuli, the “in your face” activity). The catching and throwing. Pretty incredible day.
I reminded him later about all his hard work, the swim classes he dreaded and stayed up all night the night before, all the extra “practice” as we
called it, with OT, and PT. That because of all his hard work, he now can have fun. He has choices! That if he hadn’t done all this work, he would’
ve told me he didn’t want to go to this party and he never would’ve had such a fun day like this.
He now has playdates with the kid that tried to trip him in class at the beginning of the year. Of course, I’m still secretly mad at the kid, but I’m the
mom so it’s okay.... ha ha
What are Leo’s residual issues?
Leo is different, and will always be so, until there is a cure. Do I really want Leo cured? Well, I don't really know. He's a happy boy with many
choices. If that changes in Leo's future, if his disability impairs him in the FUTURE, I'd opt for a cure. It's all that I ever really wanted, for Leo to be
happy. His happiness was my fuel to getting him the help he needed.
For now, we are happy he no longer needs therapy. Like most of our kids, Leo's GI and immune systems are different and don't function properly
on their own, so on the Biomedical side of therapy, we continue to be GFCF and we give him enzymes and allergy treatments like Bioset. Would I
enjoy not being Betty Crocker GFCF Organic Momma? Yes suree bob. I'd love sending him off to school where he could eat cafeteria food and
eat at other people's homes and restaraunts.
What about behaviors? School? Social situations?
Self monitoring, specifically, exercising self control is still challenging for Leo. This goes under the category of Executive Functioning. A perfect
example of how Leo is wired differently on the inside, in his brain. Internal organization that comes naturally to us had to be learned by Leo.
This issue doesn’t stand out over the other 3 boys that also have this same issue, or really any 1st grade typical behavior. But I know the reason
for why it’s challenging for him. It’s not immaturity or acting out. Specifically, he’ll talk out of turn, not being able to help himself and answer the
question when he’s not called on. He’ll finish the teacher’s sentences. We all do this in our heads, we know where something is going, we know
what the answers are sometimes, but for Leo, he sometimes can’t keep it in his head. He’ll “call out” once or twice a day out of turn. Again, not that
he’s the only one doing it, but it’s not immaturity or not listening on purpose. Leo’s got to actively keep aware of his thoughts and what he’s doing.
The good news is that he doesn’t stand out and he’s getting so much better at monitoring himself.
How does this play out on his performance at school? Just dandy. On his report card, he got an “S” for Some Progress Noted, further
development expected for “Exercises Self Control” . “P” for Progressing Well is the best mark. And as always, there’s an “H”, for Needs More Help
and Time. Leo only got three “S’s” out of 50 marks. And no H marks! What? I know, pretty incredible.
The other S marks were under Evaluates Own Work Accurately and under Follows Directions. Both fall under Executive Functioning. And again,
they aren’t H marks, only S! He’s gotten better over this year, and I know he’ll improve even more over time as he matures.
How about those “P’s”?? All “P”s for the rest of 50 categories. He listens attentively, he shows persistence and stays on task to completion, seeks
help, organizes works and materials (you’ve got to be kidding me here, I still can’t get over this one). Demonstrates respect, responsibility, accepts
suggestions, amazing! Natch, reading, and math are okie dokie. Even writing is strong! He can write stories with a beginning, middle, and end. He’
s actually one of the strongest story writers in class! He self corrects when reading. His handwriting is strong. Boy, for a kid that could barely hold
a pencil let alone make a mark on paper, it’s pretty crazy.
Do I have the Voo-Doo Magic??
NO, silly. Because my son has reached recovery status, other parents often think I have tried harder or have some magic formula. Not true! I
could give you a long list of parents that are way better parents than me that DON'T have our outcome. Luck, talented staff, and the ability for me
to be at home to focus soley on Leo's intervention got us very far.
Out of the box, Leo had some good skills - he was high functioning, so we didn't have "as far" to go as some kids. Ironically, many kids I know have
made greater strides than Leo, but because they started out with more issues, they are not as high functioning as Leo today.
Leo continues to lead a discrimination-free life and is judged as an individual, like ALL children should be. We continue to keep the bar high for
Leo, along with his 5 year old sister. I think they can do anything! That bar helped him succeed and fly through his programs when he was little
and continues to keep him motivated and confident as a happy 7 ½ year old.
Cure? Who cares. Recovery? Whatever! Let's not get hung up on words. Let's get hung up on the fact that autism is a treatable disorder.
Maximizing the human potential is the brass ring my friends. Leo was lucky, like many others, regardless of outcome. He got what he needed, like
every child, autism or not, should. Leo is just as lucky as the non-verbal kid that got a beautiful, fully funded program, executed by a state of the
art talented staff.